Hanging On
by Cotix14
Summary: My name is Nike Midas. I was part of the 3rd Quarter Quell, but something went wrong and the Capitol captured me. Now, I'm being tortured for information about the rebellion. I don't know what's happening outside the Capitol, I don't know if the rebellion is still going and I don't know if my friends were captured too, but I'm hanging on because soon The Hunger Games will be over.
1. Miss you

**I'm back! With you guys is the first chapter of Hanging On, the last installment in the No Matter What series that I so gladly wrote. I want to thank all the people that reviewed the last chapter of Still Fighting. I'm posting this a week earlier than I said I would, I know, I'm just that awesome ;). Hope you guys like it.**

**Disclaimer: If I owned the Hunger Games, I would know Sam Claflin, and sadly I don't know Sam Claflin… I wish I knew Sam Claflin… So, no, I don't own the Hunger Games, the owner is the amazing Suzanne Collins, she does know Sam Claflin.**

**Miss you:**

**Johanna's POV**

Apparently, I've been so bored in 13 that I had nothing better to do than to accompany Princess Katniss to district 12. I should explain the ''Princess'' comment. Everybody is trying to get the little princess here to take the fucking job as Mockingjay. Apparently she's going ''crazy'' and she has a lot of ''issues''. I really want to tell her doctors that stupidity is not an issue. I dislike Katniss, just in case you couldn't tell. Everybody seems to pity her and understand her and say she's been through a lot. Please, her life is practically a fairy tale. She lost her father when she was 11? Big deal, I lost mine when I was 8. She was sent into the Hunger games at age 16? My best friend was sent at age 14 and I was sent at 16. Her hometown was destroyed when she was 17? My entire family and friends were murdered by the Capitol after I refused to be a prostitute, yes, when I was 17. They captured her fake boyfriend?... I won't get into that. Shit… I'm getting angrier, my therapist told me to keep my emotions in check. I do a trick she taught me, in which I start organizing facts about my life, going from the simplest to the most complicated parts of it.

_My name is Johanna Mason. I'm from district 7. I'm 20 years old. I'll turn 21 in a couple months, on November 17__th__. 10 days before Nike turns 22. Nike… He was captured by the Capitol. They're probably torturing him. Maybe he's dead already…_

Damn it! The therapist told me to steer clear of the Nike subject. It's not easy task. I miss him more than I'd like to admit. I've had more nightmares in this past month more times than I can count. It's selfish for me to complain, they rescued ME. It's Nike the one that got the worst of it. Maybe that's why I'm so angry all the time, he shouldn't have gotten the worst. He shouldn't have been in the arena in the first place. Stupid, noble asshole… I wish he were here. It doesn't help that his ring is on the ring finger of my left hand. I don't know why I decided to use it as if I were Nike's fiancée, but it just felt right. I spin it in my finger and think about him. His great smile, his hair -that in my opinion its way too short, almost like a soldier-, his amazing green eyes, his strong arms, his abs…

Gale's voice asking Katniss if he should go down to 12 with her sets me off my mental view of Nike (damn, Nike's good looking). Gale is a nice guy, not to mention he's really handsome. Besides, he saved around of 800 people the day the Capitol bombarded 12. That's a pretty impressive accomplishment if you ask me. I dislike him too. I don't know if I just dislike _everything _since Nike was captured or maybe I dislike him because he flirted with me when I first met him. Then he goes and claims he loves Katniss just as much, maybe more than Peeta does. Peeta was also captured. Princess here has been pretty upset about that, too. It annoys me that Katniss might go to Gale for comfort. Yes, I know they have history together and I know he's good looking and nice, but Peeta doesn't deserve that. Peeta deserves someone who misses him and thinks about him all the time. Like I am with Nike right now.

Nike, Nike, Nike, Nike… That's all I can think about. It's been all I've thought about since I got to 13. I keep having these random flashbacks about things I've gone through with him. And right after I have them I realize just how much I need him in my life. That's usually when the crying starts. I'm pathetic and weak. Worst of all, the only other time I felt so bad about myself, guess who was there to help me?

_I'm back at my house after working in the woods with Nike. I pour myself a glass of scotch and I drink it in my living room. I refused to be a prostitute for the Capitol 3 weeks ago, Snow swore that my decision would have consequences, but nothing has happened. I don't know if nothing will happen, or if he just wants me to think me and my family are safe. It's probably the latter. It worries me, not because of my own safety; I lost that long ago, but because of Alex and my mom._

_The doorbell rings and I stand up and walk to the door. I open it, expecting mom and Alex to be back from the paper factory. Instead, standing in there is a peacekeeper, looking glum. ''Miss Johanna Mason?'' he asks, even though he obviously knows it's me. ''I must inform you some bad news. Your mother, Lily Mason and your brother, Alex Mason, have passed away in a miscarriage in the paper factories. We're terribly sorry''_

_I stand there with a shocked look on my face as the peacekeeper apologizes and apologizes over and over again before leaving. I sit back down in my place in the couch, like I was before the peacekeeper came. It happened. He killed them. Snow killed them. They're dead. I'm not crying, but I've never felt so much pain. Not even 5 minutes later somebody opens the door. It's Nike. His short hair is wet and his t-shirt is backwards. He was probably in the shower when he found out and he came right here. He walks quickly towards me, sits beside me and hugs me tightly._

''_They're gone'' I tell him as I hug him back, and my tears start to run down my face for the first time, probably since my dad died ''They're gone!'' I shout this time._

''_I know'' he says. He doesn't try to comfort me, he knows how it feels, when you lose someone so close to you, you don't want to hear people say 'I'm sorry for your loss' you just want them to understand, and he does._

''_It's my fault, Nike'' I say gripping him tighter ''I killed them, they're dead because of me. It's my fault!''_

''_No it's not'' he says and he pulls me away just enough so I have to look into his bright green eyes ''You did nothing wrong, Johanna, you hear me? Nothing. You're perfect. Everything you do and everything you are is perfect, the only ones to blame are the Capitol. I won't ever let you blame yourself for this.''_

_I hug him again and I cry into his shoulder. I don't know how long he stays with me, but I don't want him to go. Not now._

And definitely not now either. ''Katniss, come out of the house. We need to go back to District 13'' Gale says in his microphone.

''Oh, bummer'' I say sarcastically, glad that something distracted me from my gloomy thoughts. ''Is our little trip over, so soon?''

''It's such a shame, I was having such a good time with you'' Gale says, just as sarcastically as me. I think he dislikes me too. I did reject him pretty rudely, but can you blame me? I had just found out about Nike.

''Aw'' I say ''I wasn't. I don't really like womanizers''

**Nike's POV**

I open my eyes. I'm back in my jail cell. I don't remember falling asleep, so I must've passed out during torture again. It's not the first time it happens, and I doubt it'll be the last. I have a feeling that their torture methods will change soon, because they're not getting anything out of me. I don't even acknowledge knowing about the rebellion. That's the first step though, if I acknowledge it, that's when the torture will get worse, if possible.

I stand up. My body feels sore, and it hurts to move it or pretty much force it to do anything. I don't think I understand why. It's true that I've been experiencing excruciating pain almost every day since they captured me, and that was weeks ago, but it's more mental than physical. I'm not even sure if they actually hurt me at all, they just want me to feel the pain, without the risk of me dying. So far, so good.

Judging by the light streaming from my little window, it is early morning. That probably means I was unconscious for about 6 or 7 hours. That means I still have around an hour before the peacekeepers drag me to the torture room again. I hold a pipe that hangs horizontally from the ceiling with both hands and I lift myself. My arms tremble as I try my best to do pull ups. It hurts, my back and my arms ache as I lift myself up, but I need to do it. I need to keep myself strong. If I'm weak, then people get hurt. People close to me, and I can't let that happen. Ever. So I do pull ups. After 9 my arms are shaking and as I pull myself up again, I lose my grip on the bars, fall and hit my back against the opposite wall.

''Fuck!'' I shout as I take my head in my hands. I could do 50 before I was captured. I need to go again or do something. I can't just sit here, if I don't keep myself occupied I start to think, and if I think I'll get depressed. I lay on the ground and I begin doing sit ups. One, two, three… and so on.

I'm clearly not thinking straight. If I were I would listen to the pain I go through whenever I move and just stop with this exercising. Why am I doing this? Oh right, so I don't think. I think anyway.

''_Let me in!'' I shout ''Let me in! I need to see her, let me in!''_

_Blight is holding me back and the doctors keep the doors closed. Damn, Blight is strong. ''Let me go, Blight! I need to see her, please!'' I beg struggling against Blight's grasp._

''_I'm sorry, we can't allow that, Mr. Midas'' the doctor says as he locks the door with his keys ''She just got out of surgery, nobody is allowed to see her. But don't worry, she's fine''_

''_Please! Doctor, I'm begging you, just let me see her'' I beg again ''I won't try anything stupid, I swear''_

''_We can't allow that, you'll just have to wait'' he repeats._

''_C'mon, boy'' Blight says and drags me down the hallway to my room._

_My dreams are filled with nightmares that night. This shouldn't be happening, Johanna just got out of the games! I should be allowed to be with her! I wake up at around 3am. Fuck. I need to see her. Just see her, just to make sure she's alive, that she's breathing and here. I get out of bed and run down the hallway towards the elevator. I don't even mind that I'm only wearing shorts, or that the hallway might be guarded. I just need to see her. If the damn elevator could come already… I'm shocked when the doors of the elevator slide open, and there she is. Johanna. She looks half asleep, thin, her hair is a mess and she's just wearing a medical gown. I don't think she has ever looked more gorgeous. _

_We're both quiet for a moment, until her face breaks into a huge grin and she tackles me into the biggest hug ever, she holds me by the neck and she even wraps her legs around my waist. For a second I'm about to fall down, but I regain my balance and I hug her back tightly._

''_Hi'' she says in my ear._

_I chuckle ''Hey'' I tell her and I squeeze her even tighter against me. We are so close I can feel her heartbeat against my bare chest and her breathing against my neck. Yep, she's definitely alive and I'm definitely happy._

One hundred. I stop. I'm breathing heavily, my stomach aches, like if I had done ten thousand sit ups instead of a hundred. I cover my face with my hands. I wish I could at least know where she is. Was she captured? Did the people from 13 save her from the arena? Is the rebellion still going on, or did the Capitol already put a stop to it and they just want me to confess so they can publicly kill me? I know none of this, and they don't want to answer any of my questions. I miss Johanna so bad…

Someone opens the jail cell and dumps a bucket of freezing water on top of me. ''Get up pretty boy!'' the peacekeeper shouts and 2 other guys lift me by the arms until I'm standing up ''It's time for your daily interrogation, and try not to pass out this time, will you?'' he says with an evil grin. The 2 other peacekeepers start dragging me towards the interrogation room. I know better than to try and fight them off, the only thing I can do is prepare myself for the pain, like I've done all these days.

**Yay! Another chapter done! I loved writing this! It was so much fun :). I hope you enjoyed it too. Just so you guys know, not all chapters will be half Nike, half Johanna, sometimes it'll be just one of them, I'm not sure, I don't have everything planned yet. Also, that thing I said in Johanna's POV, about Gale being a womanizer, well I think he completely is. Don't get me wrong, I like Gale, but I never thought he loved Katniss and in Mockingjay when he said he kissed girls all the time, well I thought that was kind of womanizer-like. I'm rambling…**

**Can I confess something? I finished this chapter a week ago, but I decided not to post it because I'm mean :D. If you want to complain about how mean I am, then maybe you could review? Alright cool! I might not post anything next week, because I have a super important exam, but I'll try. See you guys then :). Wow, I just realized all my first chapters have at least one flashback… Oh, well ;). **


	2. Torture

**The very first thing I want to say is a massive THANK YOU to all the people who reviewed, which are FireBreadandSnares, Something Spiffy, Gabsters, dancer27 and Madge711. I really appreciate it. The second thing I want to say is that I owe you a huge apology for not posting. But, I do have good excuse (You guys think I'll say some stupid thing about school, aren't you?), but no, school has nothing to do. I was recently in an accident and I had a pretty bad wound on my thumbs, and I had to go to the doctor and take painkillers and analgesics. So, I wasn't in the mood for writing at all, but I couldn't let you guys down, could I? Now don't worry about me, and I really hope you enjoy this chapter :).**

**Gabsters: I know, I'm an extremely rude person… Haha, don't worry, I usually do everything possible to post in time, I won't leave you hanging, I promise :D. Thanks for becoming a faithful follower and I'm glad you liked it. A little recommendation, you should create an account, that way you can follow the story more easily.**

**Torture:**

**Nike's POV**

The peacekeepers drag me down the hallways. If you look at them, you would think you're in the middle ages. The hallway is lit by torches and the walls are made of bricks. There are plenty of water puddles on the ground because of the countless leaks and there are pipes adorning the ceiling all over the place. This has been the lovely place I've been in for the past month. As I was saying, the peacekeepers were dragging me. I can walk, probably run too-and a lot faster than them-, but they have guns and I wouldn't make it far. I guess the only way for me to rebel, at least a little, is to make things as hard for them as I can. By now I know the way to my little high tech torture chamber by heart. Straight, up the stairs (into the high tech area, of course), right, right, left, straight, left, and then the third door to the right.

The white door slides open revealing the horrible machine and the metal chair right in the middle of the room. The peacekeepers make me sit down and then tie my wrists to the armchair with a thick leather belt. They take the cables from the machine and begin connecting them all over my chest, my stomach, my face and my arms. I feel a slight pinch whenever they connect it, which probably means there is some kind of needle that goes into my nerves. That's as much as I've figured about how the machine works. The peacekeepers leave the room once they're done and slide the door shut, making it look like there's no door at all.

''Mr. Nike Midas'' the bored, dull voice of whatever peacekeeper holds my interrogation says over the speaker ''Are you ready to begin the interrogation?'' I don't answer ''Very well'' the guy continues, ''We'll just reassume the normal interrogation process then'' he says and then clears his throat, like he does every time he's going to ask me something mildly important ''How many people are involved in the rebellion, and who are the main leaders?''

Well, we have a couple hundred, without the rebelling districts, and the very main minds under the whole plan have to be a lot of the games' victors, Plutcharch Heavensbee and Alma Coin. ''I don't know'' I lie.

''Mr. Midas…'' the guy says ''We know you know the answer, we're not stupid. If you just answer, things we'll be so much easier for you…''

''I don't know the answer'' I say again, hanging my head low, already preparing for the moment they turn that machine on ''Like I've told you a million times, I don't know anything about anything going on outside of this place since after the quell'' I'm such a good liar, I do know. The rebellion began, from overhearing conversations I know district 12 was bombarded and I know Katniss is not here-, or at least, if the rebellion is still going, there's no way she's here- I know every single person related to the rebellion, and I know most of the strategic plans already planned.

''Let me ask you one more time, who are the main leaders of this rebellion?''

''I don't know''

I hear the switch I look at the machine and I see the numbers rising higher, from 0 to 800. The numbers turn red and that's when the pain starts. It's fire. There's fire burning me. I'm on fire. But I can't see it. I can only feel it, feel as it burns me and leaves in the most horrible pain anyone can endure. I tighten my grip on the chair, I kick the air, I scream and fight against my binding. I have to get out of here, I can't stand this. I can't. I can't. I CAN'T! I want to die. I WANT TO DIE! I can't breathe. It hurts, this hurts. I can't think, I can't move, I can't see, I'm shaking, and then it's over, just as suddenly as it started. I'm in the chair limp trying to catch my breath. I'm shaking and my cheeks are wet, I didn't even realize I was crying. I'm sweating as well. I wonder how long they used the machine against me. It felt like hours, but it might've been minutes. As usual, the first thing I after catching my breath is too look at my arms and my chest, to see the burn marks. But there aren't any, there have never been any. But the pain… It feels real, I think it's real, it has to be real.

''Let us move on then'' The guy says.

This goes on for hours. I'm hoarse, tired and in pain, but I still haven't answered a single question, and I don't intend to. ''Mr. Boring torturer'' I say aloud forcing a smile ''Don't you think it's enough for today?''

''Not at all Nike, this is only the beginning'' It's not Mr. Boring torturer. It's someone else, it's someone I despise, it's someone I want to see dead.

''YOU FUCKING SON OF A-'' I shout, as President Coriolanus Snow triggers the machine again, making me scream in pure pain.

Now I'm mad. Snow doesn't bother to ask me anything, he just mocks me, and triggers the machine, just to show me how much power he has over me right now. ''Very brave, president'' I say ''Tie me up and then don't even bother to see me face to face, just attack me behind a wall. You're pathetic''

Snow laughs ''You're at my mercy, Nike'' he says ''You should start treating me better. But very well, I shall see you face to face''

I hear footsteps and then the door slides open, revealing Snow himself. I want to throw myself at him and punch him until the smell of his own blood covers the one on his breath.

''Nike, it has been so long since I last saw you face to face'' I just glare at him ''I always knew you were trouble, since the moment you walked into the arena. I don't know why I had so much mercy, I should've just told Seneca Crane to kill you when he had the chance''

''Like you killed him after he messed up with Katniss and Peeta?'' I spit out ''Is that all we are to you? Fucking pieces in a game that you can just get rid of whenever you want?''

''Oh not at all'' he says ''I believe everyone has… a role, which they need to fulfill, some big and some small, and well, if that role is not big… If it isn't important in this world, then I don't see any reason not to get rid of those people whose roles don't matter, to open room for the ones who do matter''

''You don't matter'' I say ''You're a piece of garbage. You deserve to die, the most horrible of deaths. Do you have any idea of how many people you've killed? How the fuck can you live with yourself?''

''I know all those deaths were for a greater good. Peace'' he says smiling ''The hunger games have kept peace since the rebellion, and now you, calling me all those names, you are trying to stand in the way of having peace, with this stupid rebellion''

''You think peace is having to see our friends, brothers, cousins, coworkers, being murdered for no reason? YOU THINK THAT'S PEACE?'' I yell at him ''You're a coward, you're weak, you're stupid, you're mean and you will die. Hear me when I say this, the rebellion will succeed. You will lose everything, you will pay for everything you've ever done. I swear to God you will, and I'll make sure you regret everything until the day you die as the monster you are.''

''You have some very big words for a kid tied to a chair'' he says calmly ''what about you? This rebellion hasn't done much good to you either. You have sacrificed so much, yet I don't see any of them here, trying to rescue you. That because they know your role in this world is small, you have lived more than you deserve and you'll be dead soon, probably still trapped in here like the rat you are''

I laugh, but my laugh is cold and heartless, very unlike me ''I don't care about me, Snow. I actually think you're right. My role to play is small, I've been given too many chances, but I've accomplished everything I needed to accomplish. Can you say the same?''

Now it's his turn to laugh ''You haven't accomplished everything'' he says ''I have seen it, over and over again since you won those games 8 years ago. You still don't have the girl'' I glare at him and try unsuccessfully to get out of the bindings again, as he smiles at me cruelly ''I'm right, aren't I? You wish every single moment of your miserable stay here that you were there, in district 13, with her, so you could stick your tongue down that bitch's throat''

I spit in his face. ''Do not ever insult Johanna, you filthy son of a bitch'' I say, pronouncing each word carefully.

He calmly cleans the spit out of his face then he slaps me, harder than I thought a man of his age could. I spit blood to the white floor beside me and try my best to keep breathing ''You should not have done that'' Snow says quietly ''Mark my words, Midas, things will only get worse. You think you're in pain? This won't be nothing compared to what's next. I'll make sure you suffer so much you won't even be able to think straight. You will go insane here and you will lose EVERYTHING!'' he says, shouting the last word. Then he turns round and walks towards the door ''Take him with the other prisoner, will you?''

The peacekeepers come back in. The untie me and lift me up, dragging me to the hallway. They don't take me back my usual route; they go to the whole opposite side of the building. We walk for a very long time, which makes me question just how big this place is. Finally they stop at a door, not unlike the one of my torture chamber, and one of the peacekeepers turns his attention to a small controller stuck to the wall, with the numbers from1 to 9 written on the buttons. He begins to write a password. I catch every single number, 486437, I don't know if that was in purpose, or the peacekeeper is just an idiot. Either way, the door slides open and the throw me in.

I hear the door closing again as I lay on the cold hard floor of this new room. I stay on the ground with my eyes closed for a moment, trying t find the strength to get back up. I open my eyes and I find myself in a large, dark room. There are two old stone beds at one side, with a very thin blanket each, there are a couple of candles illuminating the place slightly and there's spider web everywhere. But what calls my attention the most is a girl, sitting in a corner with her head in her hands. She has brown long hair, she's thin and she's wearing a very dirty white dress. I can't see her face, but I know for a fact that she's gorgeous, I know her eyes are bright green, like mine, I know she has the sweetest smile ever, I know she would never harm anybody and I don't know why _she_, out of all people, has to be here.

''Annie''

**I hope you guys liked it, please leave a review :). And if you don't, I will show you my wounds and leave you traumatized forever, MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. I'm kidding… But seriously, review.**


	3. Unhappy reunion

**Hey! Thanks to enterusernamehere, FireBreadandSnares, Madge711 and Something Spiffy for reviewing :). Small thing, I saw Les Miserables the other day, and it's by far one of the most amazing movies I've seen in my entire life, so go and watch it you won't regret it. And other thing, you know the group fun.? Most amazing group ever! Those guys are genius! Anyway, that's all my rambling. I hope you like this.**

**Unhappy reunion:**

**Nike's POV**

''Annie! Annie! God, calm down, please! Everything's okay! I won't hurt you!'' I say as calmly as I possibly can while I cover my head with my hands as Annie throws everything she can find at me. Annie is screaming at the top of her lungs and every once in a while she covers her ears and closes her eyes tight.

''Get away from me!'' she screams as she throws one of her shoes with scarily good accuracy.

The shoe hits my arms as I try to walk closer to her ''Annie, it's me! It's me! Nike! Nikey, remember?'' I say, getting closer. She stops screaming and stares at me, confused ''You gave me swimming lessons, remember? With Finnick''

''Finnick?'' She says quietly. I guess I should've guessed that was the name that would calm her the most.

''Yes! Yes, Finnick'' I say ''That day, afterwards we saw fireworks, you, Finnick, Johanna and I''

Her eyes seem to get clearer, and she blinks several times ''Nike?'' she stares at me trying to recognize me, I hope she does ''Nike!'' she says finally and she throws herself at me and hugs me tightly by the neck, crying on my shoulder.

I hug her back, sighing, relieved. ''Annie, thank God you're okay'' I say ''They haven't hurt you, have they?'' I say pushing her back slightly, so she has to look into my eyes.

''No… No, they haven't done anything to me, except trapping me here'' she says ''Why? Have they hurt you?''

She looks suddenly scared and worried. ''No, no. They just kept me here as well'' I lie, I don't want her to freak out again ''I was just worried about you, that's all''

She sniffs ''Where are we?''

''The Capitol'' I say ''I don't know where in the Capitol''

''Is… Is Finn here too?''

I hesitate for a second. I'm pretty sure Katniss and Peeta aren't here, although I might be wrong, and Snow already told me- probably accidentally, - that Johanna was in 13, but I have no idea about Finnick, Beetee or Enobaria. ''He's not here'' I lie again ''He's in district 13, he's safe''

She smiles at me sweetly ''Good, that's good'' she says as she buries her head in my chest. I sit on the ground, still holding her, and I lightly stroke her hair. I sigh and close my eyes. I hate lying, most of all to Annie, whom I consider a little sister (Yes, I am aware that she's older than me), but I think I have to. President Snow probably wanted to add more pressure on me when he threw me in this cell, because now I have another duty, now I have to protect Annie at all costs. I'd rather die than seeing Annie hurt.

I hear a beeping, which means someone is writing the password to open the door. Indeed, the door slides open just a moment after. ''How cute!'' A man I have never seen before says, ''Too bad I have to interrupt. Nike Midas, come with me''

Are they going to torture me again? In the same day? That's a new kind of low… I keep my face as emotionless as possible as I carefully move Annie off of me. ''Nike! Nike, don't go!'' Annie says pulling my hand, as tears stream down her cheeks. I can see it even before it happens; she's going to have another attack. As soon as I think that she covers her ears and begins to shake her head.

I take her wrists and look into her eyes ''Annie, I'll be fine, okay? Don't worry, I'll be right back'' I say forcing myself to smile. She's still crying and I desperately want to stay here and make her feel better.

''Mr. Midas, I don't have all day'' the man says.

I walk to the door, leaving Annie crying and covering her ears on the ground. It kills me to do that, but I don't have another choice. The man leads smiles at me and makes me follow him through the hallway. This man is not a peacekeeper; he actually looks like a regular Capitol man. His hair is jet black, with gold strands all over it and it's carefully combed backwards. He has a tattoo on his neck of what looks like a dragon and his eyes are yellow, something that as far as I'm concerned is not possible. ''Who are you?'' I ask.

''Oh, where are my manners, I didn't introduce myself!'' he says with an unmistakable Capitol accent ''My name is Pelagius Septim, my pleasure. I handle a quite large amount of things in this particular area of the Capitol'' he says, proud of himself ''I think we'll be seeing a lot more of each other from now on, Nike'' he smiles when he says that last thing, his smile is rather unpleasant.

He makes me climb a lot of stairs and then go to an elevator. As the elevator goes up, I have a weird feeling of having seen it before; it is just like the one in the training center. We walk through a series of hallways, and again to another elevator. When the doors open I'm seriously shocked. We _are_ in the training center. How the hell do they add a torture floor to the training center? We are in the stage where interviews take place, and there are men preparing the lights and cameras. Are they going to interview me?

''What are we doing here?'' I ask Pelagius.

''Oh, you'll see soon enough, it seems we are the first here'' he says checking his watch.

''The first for what?''

''Look! Here they are!'' he says excitedly, pointing at the other entrance. I turn around, but before I can see anyone someone hits me in the back hard with something, making me fall to my knees. Two people grab me by the arms and lift me up. Peacekeepers. ''Nike!'' a voice I know, but I can't place says ''Nike! What did they do to you?''

I lift my head and I see one of the last people I would like to see here, Peeta. He looks healthy, he has no scratches, no cuts, no bruises, anything. Nobody would think that he was in an arena, about to die just a month ago.

''Now this is what we're doing here'' Pelagius says ''Peeta you will call for a cease-fire on national television, with our host, Caesar here''

''What? No, I'm not doing that'' Peeta says firmly.

''That's where you come in, Nike'' Pelagius says, pointing at me with a cane, which is probably what he used to hit me ''You see Peeta, if you don't call for a cease-fire… Well, they say a picture is worth a thousand words, so why don't I show you?'' He smiles when he says that and quickly hits me with the cane in my stomach. I fall to my knees again and groan. ''So, there you go! You call for a cease-fire, or you see your friend here getting a beating'' he is smiling like this is the most marvelous thing in the world ''And you, my dear Nike, if you talk or interrupt or try to escape during the interview, I will personally beat you until you pass out, 'kay?'' he says patting my cheek and grinning ''Caesar, you may start now!''

Peeta looks at me and sighs. He sits on the chair opposite to Caesar and the interview starts. Peeta is either an incredible actor or just amazing with words. He talks to Caesar with ease and you can see the emotions on his face, you can see him describing the arena, and I agree with every single word he says. ''…because in the arena, you only get one wish. And it's very costly'' he says. My wish was to keep Johanna safe, to do that I killed Brutus, I knocked Enobaria unconscious and I almost died. It does cost a lot; when I think of what I did in the arena I'm repulsed by myself, by the thought of the people I hurt and killed. It makes me feel like I'm not me.

''It costs your life'' Caesar says.

''Oh, no. It costs a lot more than your life. To murder innocent people? It costs everything you are.'' Peeta shoots me a quick look when he says that, but then turns back again at Caesar before anyone but me noticed. Why would he look at me? Is it because I stopped him from murdering Enobaria? Maybe.

The interview goes on. Peeta is asked about Katniss, whether he knew about the rebellion. Peeta is angry. He can't believe that Caesar would even suggest that Katniss knew something. Again, I have the feeling that he's like me, just for a moment. I know Katniss didn't know a thing, but he didn't and all the evidence points that she did know. The fact that he refuses to believe the idea of Katniss betraying him proves just how much he trusts her and how much he cares. Caesar suggest that they stop now and Peeta makes the mistake of asking if there's more to discuss.

''I was going to ask your thoughts on the war, but if you're too upset…'' Caesar begins.

''Oh, I'm not too upset to answer that'' Peeta takes a deep breath and looks at me again, only for a second, I shake my head ''I want everyone watching- whether you're on the Capitol or rebel side- to stop for just a moment and think about what this war could mean. For human beings. We almost went extinct fighting one another before. Now our numbers are even fewer…'' he keeps talking, but I stop listening. I need to stop him, _now_. If he calls for a cease-fire, how many people would listen? Plenty. Maybe not the people at 13, maybe not everyone, but too many people would back out. Peeta is good with words, he could convince have the country easily. I can't let him. The rebellion won't work if we're short on people. I scan my surroundings. The peacekeepers holding me don't seem to have weapons, r at least not that I can see, if I hit one of them hard enough I could escape and take Pelagius' cane to get rid of the other one and interfere on the shooting.

I take a deep breath. I hit the guard to my right with my elbow on the chin, he releases me and I grab the other one's wrist and throw him towards Pelagius. Pelagius is hit and I take his cane. I run up stage, before any of them can do anything to stop me. ''Peeta, stop!'' I yell ''He's been forced to call for a cease-fire! Don't listen to him!'' I'm close to the camera, they captured everything, and probably everyone in the country saw me. The peacekeepers pull me back, but I struggle against them ''Don't listen! Don't stop fighting! You have to-'' I'm cut off by a loud bang. At first I don't know what it is, until I feel the pain in my shoulder. Pelagius shot me. It stings. I can't resist anymore, instead I tremble as the peacekeepers drag me out of the stage quickly. I'm cold, I feel like the temperature dropped at least twenty degrees.

''You ruined it!'' Pelagius screams, looking wild ''It was going amazing and you blew it!'' he hits me with the cane in the face. I cough and I'm not surprised to see blood coming out of my mouth. ''Ugh, you're lucky Snow wants to keep you alive'' he starts to look blurry and his words sound distorted ''This is not over, punk!'' he says, close to my face ''Take him back with the other prisoner'' he says, right before he hits me with the cane again, and everything goes black.

**I don't think this was my best work, but whatever. I think the next couple of chapters will be in Johanna's POV, even though I'm far more comfortable with Nike's, but whatever… I hope you enjoyed it, and if you did or not, I hope you can take the time to leave me a review and tell me what you think :).**


	4. Remember

**Hi! I'm a little bit of a hurry, so I won't mention who reviewed, still I read them and thank you so much for bothering to read and leave a comment. I hope you like this.**

**Remember:**

**Johanna's POV**

Was that Nike? That was Nike, wasn't he? I did see clearly, didn't I? It was Nike. It was him. It was definitely him. I think Katniss left, and there's some kind of fighting going on, but I'm not paying attention. Instead I just stare at the black screen. It was him, but he looked so different. He was thin, he was pale, he was hurt, he looked… crazy. He didn't look like him. What could they have done to him to make him like that? And that noise at the end… That was a gunshot, for sure. They shot Nike. He might be dead. He's probably dead. All around me I hear them talking about Peeta. They call him a traitor, a hypocrite. No one mentions Nike. No one mentions what just happened. No one cares. I clench my fists. While everyone's distracted I sweep my hand across the counter, knocking, and probably breaking, the screen. They all quiet down and I walk away to the door.

''Soldier Mason!'' one of the guards says ''What you just did is unacceptable. We'll have to-''

I cut him off by shoving him and he falls to the ground. ''Shut up'' I say and I walk through the door. As soon as the doors close I run along the hallways to my chambers. I shut the door and I sit down on my bed, covering my head with my hands.

Why the fuck is he there?! He shouldn't be. Of all the people in the world, HE shouldn't be there. He's the most amazing person I know. He's the most loyal person on the planet; he's honest, kind and generous. Then why is he there, while there are so many IDIOTS just walking around doing NOTHING?! I feel like screaming. Instead I take a deep breath and I count to ten. That's what my therapist told me I should do. When I'm calmer I look around the room. I hate it.

It's an individual room, just to remind me how alone I am. There's almost nothing here. A wardrobe for all the gray, dull clothes they gave me here, a bed right in the middle of the room and a door to the bathroom in the corner. That's it. This room it's one of the things I hate the most, aside from everyone and everything. It reminds me that I have nothing to call my own and that the only family I have is probably dead in the Capitol. Although… there is something I can call my own. The ring. I turn it in my finger. I'm so glad Nike gave it to me. I know it's not really mine, but it reminds me of _him. _What did he say when he gave it to me? _''I feel like… we might be apart for a while, and I want you to have something from me''._ That idiot knew. He knew he was going to be captured and I didn't even notice that all his thoughts and worries were completely justified. Nike has always had something. I don't know what it is, but he notices things others don't. He reads people and situations differently than others. You can just take the day we met as the perfect example.

_My dad died. He's gone. Dead. The life of the best person in the world ended, just like that, when he still had so much to do, so much to live for. He left me. My mom cries and cries all the time and Alex… I don't think he understands everything, but he knows something horrible happened and he's sad. I don't care about them, though. I only care about my dad. My hero died. I have never felt this much overwhelming sadness and loneliness before. I begin to avoid people. It's not like I had many friends before, but I don't talk to anyone now, not even my own family. Alex wants me to talk to him, but I can't, not even if I wanted to. One day I decide I don't want to be at home and I run to the woods. I don't know for how long a run, I end up at a clearing. The place is beautiful, with flowers all over the floor, secured from the sun by all the trees surrounding it and the smell of the pine trees is even stronger here. _

_I sit down on the ground and cry. I cry for hours and hours. Whenever I think it's enough I just start crying again. ''Are you okay?'' someone says placing a hand on my shoulder._

_I turn around startled and try quickly to dry my tears. I recognize the boy. He's older than me, a year or two, I don't know, he's tall for his age and he has dirty blonde hair and striking green eyes. I sometimes see him with a couple of friends in the school cafeteria, but mostly he's out with who I assume is his dad ''Y-yeah…'' I say forcing myself to smile ''I'm okay, thank you''_

_He tilts his head to the side for a moment staring directly at my eyes and after a second he sits in front of me ''You're not okay'' he says- he's the first to realize, or at least to say it-''You can tell me, I won't tell anyone else, I promise''_

''_How can I know you're not lying?'' I ask him._

''_You can't, you'll just have to trust me'' he says smiling at me. He has a sweet smile. He notices I'm not telling him anything and he sighs. ''What if I tell you something about me? My name is Nike. I'm nine years old and my mom died five years ago''_

_I stare at him shocked, not only because how easily he said it, but because he said it to me, a total stranger. He just keeps smiling at me. ''I'm sorry about your mom'' I say at last._

''_Don't be, it was a long time ago'' he says ''But something is happening to you right now, and I want to help you like I wish someone had helped me with my mom-God forbid something as bad happened to you, though''_

_I bite my lower lip, should I tell him? ''Fine…'' I say ''My dad died a week ago. He had cancer and we didn't have the money to treat something like that''_

''_I'm sorry'' he says and it's weird, he sounds truly sorry, like if he wished it had never happened ''D'you want to talk about it?''_

''_Yes'' I say ''But I'm not going to''_

''_Why not?'' he says smiling again._

''_Why not? I don't know you!''_

''_Well, maybe this could be our way to get to know each other then!'' he says ''We'll share our tragedies, it'll be fun!''_

''_You're crazy'' I say smiling for real for the first time since my dad died._

''_Hey! My daddy says I'm special!'' he says in a ridiculous kiddy tone and I have to laugh. ''Ha! I made you laugh, that's step one towards a beautiful friendship!'' I laugh again. He waits a moment before continuing ''You can tell me everything you want, I'm all ears'' he says seriously._

_It takes me a while to start talking but I tell him. I talk about how lonely I feel ever since my dad died, I talk about how I feel like no one understands how it feels and that maybe on purpose or maybe by accident I feel like I'm drifting away from my other family. He listens to every word, not interrupting and encouraging me to keep going when I say something particularly painful. I ramble on and on about all the things my dad ever taught me and the games we played and the places we went to. He probably doesn't care, but he still listens and it's nice to have someone there listening and to let it all out. ''Sometimes…-well, most times- I just want to forget. To forget he was ever here and to forget the pain''_

''_I understand'' he says ''I wanted the same thing. I was four years old you know, I probably didn't understand everything like it was, I probably didn't understand death. But I was in pain. I wanted my mom, I wanted her to hug me and sing lullabies to me when I couldn't sleep, but that wasn't happening and I wanted to forget for a moment that I used to have all those things and I lost them''_

''_What did you do?'' I ask him._

''_I didn't do anything, it was my dad'' he says smiling sadly, he sighs and keeps going ''One night about a month after she died I woke my dad up and I told him 'Dad, I don't want to have this in my head anymore, I want to forget!'. He was startled and he told me, with tears in his eyes 'You can't forget. I mean, you can, but you shouldn't. Stephanie,- your mom- she's only alive as long as we keep remembering her. The moment we forget… That's when a person truly dies. I know it hurts, little guy, I know it's horrible and I wish you weren't going through something like this, but I need you to help me keep her alive, I can't do it by myself' ''_

''_Did that help you?'' I ask._

''_At first it didn't'' he says shrugging ''I would still cry almost every night and I would still feel miserable, but after a while… I began to see all those memories differently, I didn't see them as a reminder that she had died, I saw them as a reminder that she had lived. Now when I think of her it doesn't make me sad, it makes me happy that I was able to know her and that I got to share so many experiences with her'' he smiles again after that ¿What I'm trying to ay with all this useless rambling… You shouldn't forget your dad, you should learn to appreciate the moments you had instead of feeling sorry for the ones that you didn't get to experience. And your family… You shouldn't push them away. They probably need you and I'm sure you need them. Now that you've lost someone so close to you, the best you can do is be with them and enjoy their company, because even though it sucks, they might not be here forever. Too cheesy?''_

_I laugh ''It was very cheesy, but… It really helps. Thank you, Nike''_

''_You're welcome'' he says ''And remember, if you need anything, anything at all, you can call me and I'll do everything I can to help you''_

''_Thank you'' I repeat as he stands up and offers me his hand to help me stand up ''And… My name is Johanna, by the way. Just thought you should know''_

''_Johanna?'' he asks ''That's a very pretty name, it suits you''_

_Being honest, I thought that after that day I would probably never see him again, but I did see him again. In a very short time he became the best friend I've ever had._

''Stupid idiot'' I mutter as I sniff and wipe my tears. I always think about that day, because what Nike said always helps me get through a death or a nightmare or a bad memory. It also reminds me how Nike was able to read me and to say all the right words without even knowing me. He still does that. He's still able to make me feel better after anything and I don't think he has ever let me down. Except maybe when he volunteered in the quell.

''Soldier Mason!'' someone says pounding the door ''Come right outside! What you did was unacceptable! We need you to come outside immediately to receive a proper-''

The man keeps talking about a bunch of other military crap that I don't care about. I sigh, look at the ring again and get off of the bed ready for whatever lame punishment they thought for me.

**Yes, I am aware that I wrote how they met in the very first chapter of No Matter What, but I really wanted to write an improved, cooler version of the first one and I think I did it :). I hope you liked it and please review.**


	5. For a friend

**Hey! Now, help me out here… I only got 1 review for last chapter (Thanks, FireBreadandSnares by the way) and you would think that maybe it was a dull chapter, but this reviewer said it was the best chapter I've ever written. I don't understand that… I don't mind, though.**

**Also, I don't know why I'm telling you guys, but I'm going through a difficult time in my country (Venezuela, for those who don't know). You might've heard, though maybe not since it was the same day as the Boston bombing, that there was fraud in the presidential election here. That itself is terrible, mostly because the guy who supposedly won is the biggest idiot on the entire universe, but the country is going to hell and I'm worried. I love Venezuela, but I'm really tired of how fast things go wrong here. We are the fifth more dangerous country in the world! That sucks and it's extremely annoying. I'm not trying to complain, but I would just think that all of you, who I think most of you are from North America or Europe, should be thankful every single day for not having to deal with all of this. I was forced to grow up too fast and to talk about politics, because here kids don't have other options but to worry. So think for a minute about how lucky you are and thank God, or whoever you believe in, for having everything you have.**

**I'm sorry for the long Author's Note, I hope you like this :).**

**For a friend:**

**Johanna's POV**

Princess finally started to do things right yesterday, when she agreed to become our Mockingjay. Took her long enough. She also asked for immunity for all the damage the people captured might do towards the rebellion. I know she did it only because of Peeta, but I'm still grateful, because that deal includes Nike. She also made Coin tell the entire district 13 about the deal. That was smart from her part, I guess, that way Coin won't be able to refuse later on.

I'm with Finnick among the crowd of people in 13, waiting to hear the announcement. I don't try to talk to Finnick except for asking if he's okay. I really, really like Finnick. I think he's my best friend, aside from Nike of course. I've always admired Finnick for not going mad and… he was able to stand what the Capitol made him do. I couldn't. Not after what happened that night… I take a deep breath and count to ten. I need a drink. They should have alcohol here, they really should.

Coin makes her appearance and without wasting time she tells the district that Katniss agreed to become the Mockingjay, with the condition of giving immunity to Annie-Finnick sighs in relief- Enobaria, Peeta and Nike. When I think she's done she says ''But in return to this unprecedented request, Soldier Everdeen has promised to devote herself to our cause. It follows that any deviance from her mission, in either motive or deed will be viewed as a break from this agreement. The immunity would be terminated and the fate of the fours victos determined by the law of District 13. As would her own. Thank you''

Basically, the life of the people I care about the most depends on whether Katniss does her job right. She better do it right.

That next day, at lunch, I sit beside Katniss, Gale and her prep team, who happened to be alive. ''Beauty base Zero?'' I ask Katniss when I sit down, not glancing at her.

She nods. ''Hey…'' I begin after a while ''Thanks for… you know, Nike's immunity'' I say, just because it feels necessary.

''I'm sorry you had to see that'' she says.

''See what?''

''Nike, in Peeta's interview'' she says ''I'm sorry, that was probably hard''

''Yeah, well life isn't all rainbows and butterflies'' I say bitterly, eating the stew, even though I'm suddenly not hungry anymore.

I go to the Special Defense room after lunch. Beetee send a message to us- Katniss, Gale and I- to go there claiming he had something for me and Katniss. Beetee talks a lot when we get there I have nothing against Beetee, but I honestly don't care if you can shoot a hummingbird or not. ''How's Finnick doing?'' Beetee asks.

''He's… he's having concentration problems'' Katniss answers. I think that's as good as answer as any.

We go into a couple of different rooms until we reach on with the most high tech weapons I've seen in my life. Gale and Katniss go to the archery section while I just look at everything. I pick up a rifle. I've never shoot a gun, but now it seems like a good time to start. Maybe I should start to assist to training… Beetee excuses himself and soon comes back with two cases. He opens the first one, a big rectangular one, and he hands Katniss what might be the most amazing bow in existence. I open the other case, a black rectangular one, bigger than the one with the bow. Inside I'm stunned to see two black axes, each blade the side of my forearm, and the sharp edge is a metal I soon recognize as diamond. Now that's smart, the only way to break diamond is with another diamond, I'm pretty sure this could cut through everything. I pick up the axes and they're surprisingly light.

''Do you like them?'' Beetee asks '' I design them especially for you, I thought you would also need a cool weapon'' he says smiling.

''Yes'' I say ''They're incredible''

''There's also something else you should see'' he says and in the same case where the axes where, and opens a second compartment. Inside there's a sword. It's around four feet long, also black, except for the handle which is silver. ''It's for Nike'' Beetee explains ''If he wants to fight when he comes back I wanted him to have a especial weapon. It's made of ebony, like the axes, and the sharp edge is also diamond, like I'm sure you noticed. It's heavy though, but I thought Nike could handle it''

I don't say anything. I just look at the sword. I've never been one to show gratefulness, but I feel like I have to, but I don't know how. ''Thanks'' I say at last.

''You're welcome, dear'' he answers.

I learn that the axe can get its own temperature higher, as to burn as well to cut and it comes with a bracelet, so when I throw the axe it comes back to me by its own. It's amazing and I leave the armory in a better mood than I've being in days.

I decide to go to the set where will tape the first promotional propaganda, or ''propos'' as Katniss goes with her prep team for a makeover. I don't really have to be here, since they only need Katniss, but I want to watch. And I meet Finnick there, so it's okay.

''Do you think they're together?'' Finnick asks me out of the blue.

''Who?'' I ask.

''Nike and Annie'' he says ''I've been thinking about it all day, what if they're together?''

''I don't know'' I say, but I'm surprised because the thought of Nike being alone with another girl angers me. Am I jealous? No, that can't be, much less for Annie, who is like Nike's sister.

''I hope they're together, that way he can protect her'' he says smiling.

''Well, that does sound like something Nike would do for a friend'' I say smiling as well.

Katniss finally appears, looking gorgeous, I must admit. Finnick and I walk up to her and Finnick says, sounding more like his old self ''They'll either want to kill you, kiss you or be you''

''Oh, I want the first one!'' I say faking excitement and Katniss rolls her eyes as I laugh.

They call Katniss to her place, the smoke machine kicks in. Katniss looks serious and angry when she raises her bow and yells the line _''People of Panem, we fight, we dare, we end our hunger for justice!'' _

''Well, that was awful'' I say quietly and it seems Haymitch agrees, because his laughter fills the room through the intercom ''And that, my friends, Is how a revolution dies.'' I couldn't agree more.

**Nike's POV**

I wake because the ache in my shoulder is insufferable. I recognize the place I'm in. I'm back in the cell they threw me in before Peeta's interview. I'm in one of the beds, but I can't focus on much else than that because my shoulder burns like hell. I touch it with my hand, expecting to feel blood, instead feeling the rough texture of gauze, held to my shoulder by some sort of medical tape. And staring right at me is Annie, looking angry.

''You told me they didn't hurt you'' she says.

''What happened?'' It's the first thing I can say.

''I'll tell you what happened!'' She says ''I was here, waiting for you to come back, when to peacekeepers threw you in, bloody and unconscious! And before shutting the door they made sure to throw a medical kit inside! I had to clean all your wounds! You told me they hadn't hurt you! Do you have any idea how worried I was?''

She says all this really fast and with a lot of hand gestures and I just lay there, confused. I sit up and bring a hand to my hair, only to find that my head is wrapped in bandages as well. It takes me a moment to get it all in, bit once my mind is clear enough I say ''I'm sorry you had to go through that''

''Why did you lie? Why didn't you tell me they were torturing you?!'' she asks.

''They had never tortured me like this'' I say ''It was different this time, today they wanted to use me to make Peeta call for a cease fire. They had never tried to torture me so… rustically before''

''But… They had tortured you?''

I look at her and sigh, ready to be honest with her ''Yes, they had'' I say ''The connect me to a machine, I don't know how it works or what it actually does to me, but I felt like I was on fire. It was by far the most horrible thing I have ever felt in my life''

''And why didn't you tell me?'' she says taking one my hands ''I could have tried to help… Or I would've stopped that guy from taking you to that interview…''

''They would've hurt you, and I'm not about to let that happen'' I say firmly ''And I didn't tell you because… well, you know… I didn't want you to worry and because…''

''Because I'm the crazy, frail little girl who always needs help?'' she asks me raising an eyebrow. I don't know what to reply to that. ''If that's the reason, then screw you''

''Annie, I never… I didn't… I just wanted to protect you'' I say ''I don't think you're a frail little girl''

''Well if 'protecting ' me means lying then don't, okay?'' she says ''I'm a grown woman, I won the games, I can take it!''

''You're right. You're right'' I say ''I'm sorry, I won't lie again. You can ask me anything, I promise I'll be honest''

She grips my hand tighter ''Is Finnick really in 13?'' she asks me, her eyes glassy ''You told me he was, but…''

''I don't know'' I say and she covers her mouth with her free hand to stop a sob, as a tear runs down her cheek ''I don't know. So far… Well, I know Peeta was captured, but Katniss wasn't. Johanna is safe as well, but I have no idea about Finnick, Beetee or Enobaria''

I can see in her eyes that she's fighting to stay here. She wants to go to that other world of hers and escape all the pain she's feeling right now. It makes me feel bad. I hug her tightly with my right arm, pressing her against me. She sobs quietly on my good shoulder and I let her, stroking her back carefully.

I don't know for how long she cries, but suddenly she just stops. I push her away carefully to see her eyes and all I see is confusion. Oh, no… She begins to freak out and she pushes me away, pressing her hand on my shoulder, making me whimper. She backs away from me, crying. I should've known this would happen. Annie doesn't have many sane moments, and sadly they don't last too long. She walks backwards until her back is pressed against the corner of the room and she stares at me confused and afraid as tears run down her face.

I stand up with a lot of effort. And she whimpers, frightened, holding her shoe like if it were a weapon. ''Annie, calm down…'' I try to say and that's when she starts screaming. She covers her ears, closes her eyes and screams. I walk up to her and I take both of her wrists trying to stop her. She just keeps screaming louder and louder, struggling to release her hands. ''Annie!'' I shout and she looks into my eyes, struggling still ''Annie! Calm down! You're safe!'' I yell as the pain in my shoulder starts again, because she hit me there when trying to make me let her go.

I don't know how long it takes for her to calm down. But when she finally stops screaming, she cries. And cries. And cries. And keeps crying. I don't let her go though. I couldn't, even if I wanted to. Annie has gone through things nobody should go through and it's not fair to let her suffer alone. So I hold her, promising myself that I will keep her safe, no matter what. I don't know how many times I'm going to have to struggle with her or how many episodes she's going to have, but I'm going to help her through everything. For her. And for Finnick.

''I'm sorry'' Annie whimpers softly, sniffing.

''Don't worry'' I say ''Don't worry, I don't mind. I don't mind at all. It's for a friend, after all''

**I hope you liked it, please review!**


	6. If we burn

**Thanks to Madge711, FireBreadandSnares, TrackerJackson, jmint945 and youcantseeme456 for reviewing. I'm really, really sorry for not updating last week, I have no excuses, unless that I really wanted to sleep counts… Also, I read a book called The Fault in Our Stars by John Green and it is freaking fantastic. All of you should read it, it's just amazing.**

**Youcantseeme456: I'm sorry, but I'm not doing that. I really don't want to rewrite it and I don't really have the time either. I'm very sorry, but I hope you continue to read :). **

**If we burn, you burn with us:**

**Johanna's POV**

It took _hours_ of discussions, physical and mental tests and trainings for the people in 13 to allow me to go with Katniss and the rest to district8 for the first propo. I don't understand what the big deal is really, but I guess I should consider myself lucky, given that they didn't allow Finnick to come. After putting on the ridiculous military clothing- that's ten times less pretty as what Katniss is wearing, - they give me a weapon, a small gun, and I go to the Hangar (the place where hovercrafts are). Even if I'm not really paying close attention to it, I am surprised by how big district 13 is. It is a huge maze of underground tunnels, hallways and passages.

Once we're in the hovercraft Plutarch gives each of us a pill, a pill he called _Nightlock_, in honor to Katniss' stunt in her games. It's a little creepy to think I could be dead just by biting on this pill. It will take the hovercraft around an hour to arrive. I'm not looking forward to that hour. The main reason I came wasn't the rebellion nor Katniss or the people at 8, I just came to stop thinking. Around halfway through the trip Gale changes places and takes the one beside me.

I don't say anything at all to him and I don't care why he sat with me. He starts speaking first after a moment. ''Do you really think I'm a womanizer?'' he asks.

''Yep, pretty much'' I reply.

''Well, I'm not''

''Really?'' I say with a snort.

''Yes, really, why do you even think I'm a womanizer?'' he says, looking slightly offended.

''To begin, you're extremely good looking. Second, you started going after Katniss _right_ after Peeta showed interest in her. Isn't that the 'now that I can't have you, I suddenly want you' crap?'' I say shrugging.

''That doesn't prove anything'' he says.

''Can you name every girl you've ever made out with? Maybe, how many girls you've had sex with? I'm sure you can't name them all''

''Well, some of them weren't as… I mean, I wasn't…'' he says trying to explain.

''Oh, my God, you didn't realize you were being an asshole womanizer!''

''So what? You're a slut too!'' he says.

''Excuse me?''

''How many guys have you been with? How many people have touched you?''

I have a sudden flashback of that night four years ago. I close my eyes and breathe heavily. ''I've kissed five guys in my entire life'' I say and he looks shocked ''And the one time I had sex, I was being raped by a fifty year old capitol man, I'm not sure if that counts'' I spit out. I regret the words as soon as they come out. I had never told anybody. Not even Nike. Yet here I am, telling Gale, a guy I barely know and don't like, just to prove that he knows nothing about me.

That shut him up. I know he's staring at me, but I just look at the ground. Since that night I haven't really being able to trust men, I was even wary with Nike for a while. That's pretty much why I think Gale is a womanizer, why I tend to think the worst of every guy I meet until they prove me otherwise. ''I'm sorry, I didn't know'' Gale says. I don't reply and I don't intend too, but I don't have to because the hovercraft makes a quick, spiral descent onto a wide road on the outskirts of 8.

District 8 is nothing like I remembered it from my victory tour, but of course that was obvious, considering the bombings. Some buildings are still on fire, most are destroyed and the streets are dirty. Yet, the most gruesome sight is the people. They're all being brought to the medical centers and inside the buildingsfor safety, I guess. I really doubt there's anyone completely healthy in the district.

We move to the warehouse, where a woman in around her mid-thirties is standing, checking on the new comers and the hundreds of patients. She looks tired and just fir a moment I feel bad, considering all I've done in 13 is sit around depressed.

''This is commander Paylor of Eight'' Boggs says ''Commander, soldier Katniss Everdeen''

''Yeah, I know who she is. You're alive then, we weren't sure'' Paylor says. It is clear in her tone that she doesn't like Katniss. Look at that, I'm not the only one.

''I'm still not sure myself'' Katniss answers.

''Been in recovery'' Boggs tries to justify, but really, there's no justifying why the Mockingjay is doing nothing while people in the district are going through so much ''Bad concussion, miscarriage. But she insisted on coming back to see your wounded''

''We've got plenty of those'' Paylor says.

'' I could tell'' I say ''Don't you need medical reinforcements here?''

Paylor turns to me ''Johanna Mason, am I right?'' I nod and the same time I look at my nails, which are bitten and plain ugly ''Don't you think I've asked Coin for that? I don't think she can do anything, or cares''

''Well, she should care'' I reply just as forcefully ''Maybe I'd make her get into her senses''

Paylor smirks ''That would work, Mason'' she then turns to the rest ''Come on in, Mockingjay, and by all means, bring your friends''

''I'll stay here'' I say ''I'll let you know if anything's wrong. Have fun!'' I finish sarcastically.

At first I planned on actually keeping watch, but nothing's happening. I look at all the people on the ground and all the doctors and volunteers carrying them to the ware house and I decide to help. They accept my help, but it takes me a very short time to realize my physical conditions are nothing like they used to be, I'm tired in minutes.

I'm surprised when I began to hear shouts, coming from the warehouse everybody's in, people shouting ''Katniss, Katniss Everdeen!''. I laugh. One time, after her games just when all the trouble was starting, Nike said that Katniss had a huge effect on people. I didn't see it then, but everytime something like this happens, something amazing and inspiring, I can't help but think Nike was totally right. Like usual. The people outside also start talking, ''Is Katniss Everdeen really there?'' and ''Isn't that girl over there Johanna Mason?''

Around half an hour later Katniss and the others leave the warehouse. Katniss looks shaken, but in her condition it's easy to get shaken or scared by pretty much everything. They're smiling so things must've gone right. I'm walking towards them when I hear something. It's like a low rumble very far away. I look to the sky, and very, _very _far away I see multiple black dots. It could be nothing, but, when is it ever nothing in a war? I run to them.

''Boggs!'' I shout.

He turns around and then places a finger in his ear. He tells the others something and they begin running to same path I'm in. I wait for them and once they're close enough I run alongside them. There's pretty much nothing in the sky and all of the sudden the Capitol hovercrafts are right on top of us. The explosion hits the ground hard and we all are sent flying to different directions. I land with my left hand and I hear a crack. I dislocated my wrist. I look at my hand and it is in a weird angle. I grip my hand tightly and twist it to the right direction, earning another crack. Gale landed right beside me and he's trying to stand up.

I forcefully push him down ''Get down!'' I hiss.

All of a sudden I hear Plutarch voice on my earpiece. ''There's a light blue warehouse three down from you. It has a bunker in the far north corner. Can you get there?''

''We'll do our best'' Boggs says as we stand up.

''You've got maybe forty-five seconds to the next wave'' Plutarch says.

We begin walking and I noticed Katniss limping. She probably hurt her leg during the explosion. I go over there and I take one of her arms and sling it across my shoulders, carrying her weight. She's slightly faster, yet I know I'm doing much of the job. It doesn't takes us long to see the blue facade. We reach another alley when the second wave of bombs hit the ground. Both Katniss and I are sent flying back. I hit my head against the ground and I don't know where Katniss went. When I'm finally orientated again the first thing I hear is Gale saying ''They're targeting the hospital!''

''Not your problem'' I hear Plutarch saying ''Get to the bunker.''

How could it not be our problem? I thought we were helping these people. I see Katniss yanking her earpiece out of her ear. Does this mean...? Yes! She's fighting back. Finally, princess is doing something I approve of!

Gale and Katniss run to the brown warehouse, where gunshots are being fired towards the Capitol's hovercraft. I follow them, alongside Boggs, although I'm sure we're going for completely different reasons. Gale and Katniss start climbing the ladder to the warehouse. Boggs arrives first and takes Gale's foot. I grab Boggs by the shirt and pull him back, making him let go and fall to the ground.

''Go, Katniss, Gale!'' I shout keeping Boggs from standing up again.

Boggs uses that moment of distraction to pull me down to the floor with him. He proceeds to stand up, trying to stop Katniss for sure. I stand up and push him down again, but this time I climb the ladder and join them. Paylor is up there. I'm glad she's still alive. She throws me a huge, kick-ass machine gun. The third V-formation hovers in the sky and I start shooting immediately. I take down one of the hovercrafts by pointing to the engine of one of them. Gale takes down the point plane and Katniss takes the wing off the second bomber, causing it to spin into the one behind it.

''All right, that's it'' Paylor says.

''Did they hit the hospital?''

''Must have'' she says grimly.

I stay up the roof with Paylor, watching the damage caused by the bombings. I can see the hospital, but barely. It is on fire, slowly falling apart. ''I'm sorry'' I tell Paylor.

''They'll pay for this'' she says.

''They will, for everything they've done'' I assure her.

We climb down. Right then Katniss is talking to the camera, looking angry and confident and real, completely different to how she looked in the studio of District 13. ''President Snow says he's sending us a message? Well, I have one for him. You can torture us and bomb us and burn our districts to the ground, but do you see that?'' she says pointing to the planes burning on the ground. ''Fire is catching! And if we burn, you burn with us!''

I smile, for a second feeling like Katniss isn't so bad, because she's right. If we're going to die, the least we can do is make the Capitol burn to ashes.

''Cut!' Cressida says, nodding ''That's a wrap!''

**Thanks for reading, I hope you can leave a review. I know it's not my best chapter, but what can I say, I've been having a bit of a writer's block. I hope you guys liked it anyway :D**


	7. Red

**Hellooo! How are you guys doing? I want to apologize for not posting saturday, but I have a reason. Since I am a complete and total genius, *cough* nerd *cough*, I was selected to go to a regional math championship thingy. I did awesome, in case you guys are wondering. Then I tried to post it on Sunday, but it wouldn't let me. Anyway thanks for all the people who reviewed :).**

**And also 2 very important things that I have to get off my chest.**

**1: Cheesecake is the very best dessert in the planet. Period.**

**2: My sister made fun of me for listening to Paramore's ''Ignorance''. That's frustrating, I mean how can my sister talk about musical taste? She listens to Justin Bieber, The Jonas Brothers and Hannah Montana. Not even Miley Cyrus, Hannah Montana.**

**That's all, I hope you like this :)**

**Red:**

**Nike's POV**

I see Peeta and Pelagius again. Its weeks or days? I don't even remember… After the first time I saw them. Another interview and another treachery to get Peeta to call for a cease fire. I can't do anything this time. They have chains around my ankles and hands and they were pointing at me with their guns, I'm pretty sure this time, they won't shoot me in the shoulder. Peeta's change is unreal. He looks very unhealthy now, a lot different than how he was just a while ago. I wonder what they're doing to him that can make him look so bad, so fast. Peeta calls for a cease fire and it is as convincing as it gets, he also talks to Katniss, saying that he needs to think things over. How much will this hurt the rebellion? I try not to worry about the rebellion. I have enough just keeping quiet while they torture the shit out of me. Not that I'm complaining or anything…

The next day I'm in my cell when Pelagius and a couple peacekeepers come pick me up. Another interview? So soon? Doesn't seem to make sense to me, but I have no real choice, so I follow. They take me to a whole different room. I'm taken to a room with two chairs adjacent to each other. They throw me to one of them and immediately afterwards they tie my wrists and ankles to the chair.

''So… Are we having a nice tea party?'' I ask. Pelagius replays by hitting me with his cane. I spit. ''Does hitting me with your little stick make you feel like a man? Pathetic''

''Shut up'' Pelagius says, looking at the door ''Today's your lucky day, you won't get tortured. But we need to show you something''

''Oh, joy! What wonderful miracle am I going to witness?'' I ask jokingly, with the mere purpose of annoying Pelagius.

He glares at me, yet he doesn't have the chance say anything or hit me again because the door slides open again. Two peacekeepers bring a guy in between them. He has a black bag over his head, but he's tall, his skin -which is light brown- is dirty and covered in blood.

''Who is he?'' I ask, all comedy aside.

Pelagius laughs ''You don't recognize him?'' he asks ''You never really met in person, but I'm pretty sure you know who the other is. You! Remove the bag!'' he orders one of the peacekeepers.

He removes the bag and I see one of the people I least expected to find here. He's bruised and bloody and one of his eyes looks a lot darker and bigger than the other, but there's absolutely no doubt. He's Cinna. How could I not imagine he'll be here? After what he did to Katniss' costume in the interview, it was obvious he would get punished, but I had no idea.

''Nike!'' he says shocked, his voice hoarse and dry sounding, like if he hadn't drunk anything in a long time ''Why…?What happened?''

''What happened to you?!'' I ask fighting the restraints in my wrists trying to get to him ''What the fuck did you do to him?!'' I shout, this time to Pelagius.

''I told you, you knew each other!'' he exclaims clapping his hands together and smiling. ''Now let me explain the situation. Cinna you've been with us for months, and we've done every kind of crap we wanted with you. Yet, you refuse to give us any information!'' He smiles. ''And I fucking hate you for it'' He then proceeds to hit him in the stomach with his cane. Then he turns to me. ''And you, my dear Nike, you've been here for a quite a long time now, and you haven't said a thing either. I thought you were afraid of fire? Why doesn't fire make you wanna spit all the information out? It's frustrating!'' he says and then he pushes his cane to my cheek, making me move my head to the side ''What were we supposed to do? Maybe ruin that pretty face of yours? Or break your bones? Then it hit us'' He moves so he's right in front of me, staring me in the eye. ''You're a noble git. You can't stand seeing people getting hurt. It's amazing really, you don't even have to care for risking your life for them. That's the reason our little friend is here for!''

''What?!'' Cinna says ''Nike, I don't know you, but don't listen to that! Let them do whatever they want with me!''

I don't say anything. I'm shocked. What could they do to Cinna? Will I be fool enough to try and stop them? I-I can't let them hurt him. What kind of person could I be if I don't help? ''So! Nike, are you ready to spit the information out?''

''Nike, don't!'' Cinna says.

I shake my head, refusing to look at Cinna. Pelagius frowns ''You better look at Cinna, punk, you could stop this, whatever happens to him, it is your fault''

They proceed to beat Cinna in the most monstrous and animalistic manner I've ever seen. It's red, everywhere it is _fucking_ red. It is so bright, so strong, so _painful_. Cinna yells, grunts, screams and bleeds. But not once he asks me to tell them or asks them to stop. I want to stop them, I want to stop the _red._ Yet I can't, I fucking can't. And I hate myself for it.

''Say something!'' Pelagius yells ''You could save him! Just look at him! He's dying! Why won't you stop it, Nike?''

I know he's doing this to taunt me, and it's working. I desperately want to stop this massacre. He doesn't deserve this. No one deserves something this bad. ''You won't say anything, huh?'' Pelagius says, sighing ''Well, I didn't expect this, Nike… You, just letting a poor man get beaten like this…'' he turns to a man in the corner, one who I hadn't noticed giving Cinna's situation. ''Do your thing'' Pelagius says with what I can only describe as a creepy smile.

The peacekeepers drag Cinna to the chair and sit him down. He's shaking, but he stays strong. The man from the corner is wearing a medical robe and put of the jacket pocket he pulls out a small knife. ''Nike, if you're not going to speak, then we'll take Cinna's ability to do the same!''

The man makes Cinna open his mouth and he takes his tongue out. ''No!'' I yell ''Wait! I-I'll tell…''

''NO!'' Cinna says, his voice barely recognizable. There are tears in his eyes as he looks at me, with an intensity I've never seen in anyone before. ''Do not give up on this, Nike''

''Well, Nike?'' Pelagius says.

''I won't tell them a thing'' I say, looking at Pelagius, yet talking to Cinna. I breathe heavily, I know that what will happen next... I could've stopped it. Stop the red. Yet I can, I can't give up.

''Such a shame… Go for it'' Pelagius says.

The man quickly prepares himself and slashes at Cinna's mouth. I see all of it. I literally see how his tongue gets cut off. There's so much blood. So much pain. It's everywhere. There is pain everywhere. Everything is fucking pain. Everything is red and red is pain. Cinna cries, yet it is unheard. He can't speak. He's red. He's forever red. Like everybody.

''Take them out of here'' Pelagius orders.

I don't move. I barely even breathe. Why hadn't I noticed the red before? Why did I have to see _this _to see the red? Everybody hurts. Everybody's red. I'm red. The peacekeepers are red. Cinna is red. Who can say they haven't seen pain? Nobody. We're red. This world is red. It's pain. They take me back to my cell and an unconscious Cinna to the entire opposite direction.

They throw me to my cell. I expect to find Annie there. Screaming maybe, afraid of me. Or waiting for me. Or having one of her few lucid moments. But she's not here. ''Annie?'' I ask worried. There's no reply. She's not here. They took her away when I was gone. I begin to breathe heavily. My head burns. I grit my teeth and shut my eyes tight as the pain becomes insufferable. I take my head in my hands and I scream. The red is screaming, it's burning. I sink to the ground unable to stay on my feet anymore. I'm afraid. Will the red go away? Of course not. Red is pain, pain never goes away. I pull my hair as I scream, trying to get the red out. I can't live with the red. I can't. WHY DID I LET THAT HAPPEN?! I don't know when I stand up, but next thing I know I'm punching the wall. I'm punching it as hard as I can. I'm trying to destroy it, to make it break. Maybe, outside the wall there's a nicer world. One where nobody's tortured and one where nothing is red.

My hand hurts. My knuckles are red. Are they in pain? Of course they are, you idiot. You probably just broke your hand. I breathe over and over again, deeper each time, but I can't focus. There's no reasonable thought in the world that can make me stop the suffering, stop the red.

The door suddenly opens and a weepy Annie comes in. She's red too. As soon as she sees me she cries even harder and she throws herself to my arms, holding me tightly. I realize I'm crying too. How long have I been crying? ''Annie… What did they do to you?'' I ask as softly and slowly as I can.

She sniffs trying to calm down. ''My back…'' she replies slowly. I separate from her slowly and carefully.

''Don't freak out'' I say again closing my eyes tightly in between words, trying to get the red out of my eyes ''I'm going to lift your shirt to I can see, okay?''

She nods. I move behind her and I lift her shirt. There are whip marks all over her back. They're red. I move away from her quickly and I cover my eyes with my hands. Even with my eyes closed, everything is still red. I don't know how long I stay there, just sitting with my head in my hands, weeping over a color that it's not even there. Except for me it is. For me red is all around, red is the pain everyone suffers. For me, red is horrible and real.

I finally get up to find Annie is lying on her bed crying. I walk up to her. ''I'm so sorry this happened to you'' I say ''I want to protect you, I do. It's hard, but I swear to God, I'll be there for you always, and I won't let them do this to you again. Promise''

She pulls me close to her and asks me to stay. So I do. I lie beside her on the bed as she hugs me tightly by the waist, sniffing every once in a while. She falls asleep a couple minutes after, never letting go of me. But I don't sleep. I'm afraid of sleeping. What would happen if my nightmares are red too? What if my nightmares are even worse than my life? And what if they're better? If they're better, how could I stand to wake up and see how bad things are? So I just stay awake. Dreading the red, and all the pain it represents.

**In case you didn't notice, Nike is going crazy. Can you blame him though? I hope you guys enjoyed this and please review :). And also… Most of you guys are Americans, right? Well so I think lots of you watch American Idol. Let me ask you something if that's the case… Why the hell was Angie Miller eliminated?! That is so NOT possible! Angie was freaking fantastic! It makes me so mad that I can't vote… Angie totally deserved to win. Her original song, ''You Set Me Free'' was freaking genius and her version of ''Who You Are'' and ''Love Came Down'' were just beautiful. Seriously, Americans need to start cleaning their ears, now the winner will be either _another_ country singer, Kree, or Candice who won't have ANY hit songs. Sorry for rambling.**


	8. Dead by morning

**Sup'? I have to apologize again for not posting last week. I feel like I'm apologizing in every chapter and that sucks… I'm still really glad that you guys read and liked it :). I don't really have an excuse for not posting except that I've been very busy, I mean, so many people have updated their stories and I just don't have time to read them. And that makes no sense, I'm fourteen, I shouldn't be so busy… **

**YouCantSeeMe123: Hi! Yes, they will be reuniting soon, it'll be awesome. I'm not sure how many chapters till that, but not more than 2.**

**Now on something more serious, have you heard You Set Me Free by Angie Miller? Oh, you haven't? Then stop reading right now. I'm serious, my chapter can wait. You guys have got to hear that song as in now. In fact here's the link: **** watch?v=wz69Ou0wtNg go listen to it. Now, go, do it. And then you come back, you read the chapter and in a review you thank me for showing you the most amazing song in the whole world.**

**Dead by morning:**

**Johanna's POV**

Peeta does another interview. People are outraged with Peeta, because he's calling for a cease fire. Me? I couldn't care less. All I cared about was seeing whether or not Nike would appear again. Just a hint of him, just to know if he is still alive. There was nothing though, not even a mention of him. I don't think there's nobody who understands. What if he's dead right now? He could be, but I wouldn't know, yet no one here seems to care, not even Finnick mentions him, although that may be because he's going mad and he misses Annie, but still, they were- no, _are_ - best friends. I guess I could also feel bad about Katniss, -although I don't- considering her boyfriend is obviously being tortured and forced to do interviews in which he talks against her. The people from Thirteen seem to have thought the same, because as soon as the interview with Peeta is over they come to my room and they tell me not to mention it to Katniss. I do anyway, the next day, after lunch when she had a scene with her other boyfriend, Gale.

''So, what did you think of Peeta's awesome interview?'' I ask casually sitting down beside her when she's in the remake center, considering she'll be going to district Twelve for a couple propos. I'm not going, not because I'm scared that something like what happened in Eight happens again, but simply because I'll rather sit alone in my tiny room, sulking. A girl just needs to have her priorities straight.

''I'm guessing they didn't tell you about not telling me'' Katniss says, sounding quite angry.

''As a matter of fact they did, I just didn't, and still don't, give a fuck'' I say smiling. ''What did you think of it?''

''What do you think? I saw Peeta looking like a beat up rag doll talking crap of the rebellion'' she says, spitting every word ''And then nobody has the decency to tell me, even though I already knew''

''Oh, grow up, princess'' I say ''Seriously, your boyfriend looks a little hurt and you get all pissed, jeez…''

''What would you do in my situation then?''

''First, I'd stop complaining. Your life is almost a fairytale in comparison to some of the people here. Then, I would stop playing with two guys at the same time, it's kind of slutty in case you haven't noticed. And then I would tell myself ''Well, at least boyfriend #1 is still alive while I make out with boyfriend #2''. Sounds good, don't you think?''

It's safe to say that Katniss was pissed off. It was awesome. They leave for district Twelve after a couple hours and I'm left alone. I don't mind being alone. If I'm lucky, then maybe I'll be able to sleep for a while. I haven't slept a single night since the quell. But I don't have the chance, because as I'm walking to my room I hear an all too familiar voice calling my name. I turn around and I find Blight, looking awfully thin and depressed, but even so he's smiling warmly at me.

Before I can react or say anything he gives me a huge hug that I don't correspond. ''Johanna!'' he says enthusiastically, letting me go-finally- ''I was so worried about you! I couldn't believe that they wouldn't let me out of that hell hole until I agreed to stop drinking. It's not like I had much choice really, since there's no alcohol here. Oh, how I wish to have a drink right here… Anyway, I missed you so much! With Nike being gone and they never gave me any information outside my cell, I don't even know if he's alive!''

I laugh nervously ''yes, I missed you too Blight'' I say, doing my best to make a convincing smile, even though lately there hasn't been much to smile about. The truth is, I completely forgot about Blight until now **(AN: Actually, the author completely forgot about Blight and it's trying to add him now :D)**.

''Now, come on'' he says ''You need to tell me everything that's been going on''

So I do. We spend hours talking about the propos, what happened at district Eight, Nike trying to stop Peeta and getting shot. And now, not knowing whether he's alive or not.

''You don't know?'' Blights asks me.

''No. He might be dead right now'' I say, unconsciously playing with the ring on my finger. I'm quiet for a second ''I can't believe he was captured'' Blight doesn't say anything and he plays with his hands nervously. ''Blight… Are you hiding something from me?''

''Look… I knew he was going to get captured and so did he'' he says ''It was actually me the one who told Haymitch to rescue you and Katniss and Beetee instead of Peeta and Nike''

''Why did you do that?'' I ask him, my voice murderously quiet.

''Because he asked me to'' he says ''The day they announced the quell he went to my house. He told me he was volunteering and he asked me and made me swear that I would do anything to get you out of there. So I did.'' I just stare at him with a blank look on my face. ''Johanna, I'm so sorry. I wish I could've saved them both, but we had so little time and was just trying to do what he asked… I mean… I…''

''Don't worry Blight'' I say swallowing a lump that just formed in my throat ''Can you just… Can you just leave for a while? I want to be alone''

He nods and takes my hand and gives it a light squeeze before leaving my room. I look at the ring again and keep playing with it. I knew Nike knew. What I didn't know was for how long he had known. It's just so him to put me ahead of himself. If he hadn't… Then maybe he would be here. I fucking hate him for putting me through this, but at the same time… I can't help but admire how brave he is and how much he cares about me. I press the ring, which is still on my finger, against my lips, remembering when he kissed me on the arena, when I told him we would continue that later. I had no idea how much later it was going to be, but what I do know is that I have got to finish that kiss, as a small way to thank him for always caring about me, and always been there for me.

**Nike's POV**

I forget how to speak. Or maybe I still can. I don't remember. Let's just leave it at 'I'm not talking'. Not even to Annie. Annie doesn't talk either, maybe just because she doesn't have anyone to talk to. I wish I could talk to her. But I can't. My mind is twisted. I still see red, whenever I close my eyes, whenever I breathe and whenever I feel pain. It is taking over me and I don't know how to stop it, I'm not sure if I care anymore, maybe the red can be just another permanent torture that I can't avoid or stop. Can I live with that? I don't know. I don't care. I tend to not care anymore. Except for Annie, she doesn't deserve this and Finnick doesn't deserve to lose her. So I take care of her, not really expecting anything in return, just hoping that she and Finnick can be together soon. And Johanna. I think she's what's allowing my brain to hang on to that little bit of sanity I still have. How much longer can I hold on to her memory to forget the present?

Peeta doesn't help either. He's got a new cell that happens to be right beside ours. I doubt it's a coincidence. I hear his screaming almost every day, he always says the same, he always calls for Katniss' name, sometimes he sounds normal, but as time passes he sounds angrier and afraid. I don't know what they're doing to make him act like that. I can't grow accustomed to it, simply because it reminds me of pain and of red. I also think about Cinna a lot. Is he still alive? Maybe not, but I'm not leaving till I found out. He lost his tongue for this cause, for crying out loud, if anyone deserves to be saved it's him. And Annie. And Peeta. And all the people that are actually relevant. Unlike me, I don't matter. I'm just another sad splatter of red in this world. If I die there would just be less pain. It doesn't even sound like a bad thing. And yes, I've actually been having quite a lot suicidal thoughts. I'm trying to stop them though. I'm not succeeding. I don't care.

Peacekeepers come plenty of times. A couple times they wanted to take Annie and do God know what with her. I beat the crap out of those idiots before they could even touch her. They haven't come looking for her since, but they have taken me to plenty torture sessions. I used to do sarcastic jokes while they tortured me, it helped keep me sane. Now I'm already insane. Besides, I don't talk anymore. So now it's just basically them, asking questions that will remain unanswered while I suffer the horrible pain they try to put me through. I also haven't seen Pelagius since they cut off Cinna's tongue. I swear to God, next time I see him, I will break one of his legs, at least.

They open the door again, at what I guess it's the afternoon. They call me this time, not Annie, which is a relief, I don't feel like fighting. I expect them to take me to the same room I've been going for the past months. They don't do that though, they take me to the stage. Pelagius is usually the person who takes me to the interviews. The fact that he's not here… I'm not sure if that's a good or a bad thing. I sincerely hope he died in a horrible, painful accident.

In the stage there's Peeta. He looks worse. He's thinner, he's pale, he's sweating like crazy, but his eyes are the worst. They used to look like a calm, light blue. Now they're dark. He looks angry, confused, crazy, tired, unfocused. He sees me. I can see absolutely no recognition in his eyes, but he begins to shake,- well, shake harder, considering he was shaking before- and his hands tighten around the armrest and he takes several deep breathes. He's crazy. Maybe as much as me. Did… Did he discover the red too? I hope not. No one should know about red. It's too ugly, too bad.

They start to tape and Peeta begins talking in a frustrated tone, about a cease fire again. They show all the problems that have been going on. I pay attention to none of them. My mind is focused on not going crazier than I am right now. But I did not expect to see Katniss appear on the monitor. I'm shocked, but then I smile. The first time I smile in a long time. It doesn't feel real and it doesn't feel natural, but it is a start. Peeta is confused and distracted. Is it me, or seeing Katniss actually pained him? I think it did. I saw the red flashing in his eyes. It's creepy. The broadcast fails again and this time I see Finnick. He's not here! Annie will be so happy when I tell her. If I can tell her.

The set became disorganized; people are distracted as the signal gets interrupted over and over again. I can feel the Peacekeeper's grip on me lessening; maybe I could use that to my advantage. Maybe I could punch a couple faces. I scan my surroundings and I see President Snow. Maybe I could reach him and punch him in the pace until he bleeds. What will I accomplish with that? Nothing, just good old fashioned revenge… Should I go for it? I'll probably get killed afterwards. My thoughts are interrupted when Peeta gets back to talking for the camera.

His face contorts in effort ''Katniss… how do you think this will end? What will be left? No one is safe. Not in the Capitol. Not in the districts. And you… in Thirteen…'' He inhales sharply, as if fighting for air, his eyes look insane. ''Dead by morning!''

I break away right then and I run towards Snow, who is yelling ''End it!''. Before he even notices I tackle him to the ground and I punch him in the face with such strength that I can hear a bone cracking when my fist meets his face. I can't see the outcome though, because to peacekeepers drag me by the arms away from the president. And suddenly everything is red again. For a moment it was normal. For a moment I thought pain was gone. But then I saw Peeta lying on the ground and his blood splattering the floor and the red came back. A peacekeeper hits me in the face over and over again until I can feel the blood coming out of several cuts and bruises, and I can taste the blood in my mouth.

If this continues, Thirteen is not the only place where they'll be dead by morning.

**I sincerely hope you liked this :). I'm so tired right now… I stared writing this at 12pm and I'm finishing at 3:30am. I guess it's a good time, but I want to sleep and I have to wake up mildly early because I've got to watch the Champions League :D, Dortmund vs. Bayern München, two teams from my country, Germany! (I actually live in Venezuela, but I'm part German, so yeah, the pride is the same). And last but not least, I would like to thank the group Paramore for keeping me awake while I wrote this :D. Please leave a review!**


	9. Hero

**Hi! I'm really sorry for the delay, but as I said in my Author's Note my laptop broke down and I just got it back. I wasn't even sure if I could post this week either, but with a little effort I manage to finish it :). I have a couple things to say, but you've waited long enough so I'll add them to the AN at the end. I hope you like this.**

**Hero:**

**Johanna's POV**

So much has happened in the last couple days, I don't even know where to start. Peeta did another broadcast, but this time he was warning us, the Capitol had planned to bomb District Thirteen and Peeta kind of saved our lives. Then they beat the crap out of him. Another blonde dude that I owe my life to gets beaten up for other people… Should I feel bad? Probably. Afterwards I ended up stuck in the same room with Katniss' family. Katniss was as thrilled about it as me. It wasn't so bad though, I never talked to Katniss, Mrs. Everdeen was usually busy and Primrose-Katniss' sister- is a lot better than Katniss.

Everything was pretty much the same for a while, except that people were scared. The real change came when they asked Katniss to go to the surface and tell people she was still alive. She can't do it. She breaks down. I can't blame her for it, even I felt bad when I saw Peeta's blood on the ground. Anyway, it's what happens next that's interesting. They knock her out before she could make a mess of things and then they knock Finnick out, because he was also going crazy. Being fairly honest, I do not understand how I am so calm, I guess I've just become too good at hiding my emotions.

''I guess we have no choice now'' Boggs says once everyone calmed down and they took Katniss and Finnick inside ''We're going to send a rescue team to the Capitol'' _Now_ I feel like freaking out.

''I want to go'' I tell Boggs immediately.

''So do I'' says Gale. I look at him for a moment, rethinking every bad thing I've ever told him and mentally apologizing for them.

''Of course Gale,'' says Boggs ''Johanna, there's absolutely no way you're going''

''What?! Why not?'' I say turning to Boggs again ''I'm more experienced than most people here!''

''Not true'' he says ''How many of the trainings have you attended?'' I don't reply, since the answer is none ''I think I made my point'' he says ''But you're welcome to come with us, plan it and help us choose the team members. Don't worry, we'll rescue Nike''

We all go back inside and start the preparations, with me hinting every once in a while that I could do a better job than them in the actual situation, which I could. Haymitch also hints that he wants to go, but even I think it's a bad idea. He might've won the games, but that was almost twenty six years ago and he's old. At last the group of seven was preparing to go and I walked up to Gale, who was strapping his gun to his belt.

''Gale, remember when I told you, you were a womanizer?'' I start.

''Clearly'' he says, although not as if he were annoyed, which is nice ''Want to add any comments on that?''

''I actually want to say I am sorry about that''

''Really?'' he says with a hint of a smile ''So you don't think I'm a womanizer anymore?''

''No, I still do'' I say smiling, yet truthfully. He laughs, he probably thinks I'm kidding ''I know you're probably not doing this for me, but thanks anyway. Womanizer or not, if you bring Nike back… I could never repay you''

''Don't worry, I will. I promise'' he says smiling and I smile back. It feels like the first time I smile for real since the quell. It feels weird.

I go to see Finnick afterwards. He's fast asleep and for a second I think it would be mean to wake him up, but I need him. Except for Blight he's the only person here I can actually trust and who I honestly care about, yet lately he has only paid attention to Katniss. After thinking that I shake him maybe too violently until he wakes up. I explain what has happened and his mouth breaks into a huge smile. He hugs me enthusiastically. I'm a little surprised by his enthusiasm.

''Don't you realize what this means?'' he says, ''this is more-'' he's cut off when the door opens and Katniss walks in, looking worried.

''You're awake!'' she says ''Did you hear?''

''Yes, Johanna just told me'' he says smiling still.

''So you know, tonight I might lose both Peeta and Gale'' she says. Now that's a depressing way to look at things.

Finnick looks about as shocked by that way of looking at things as me ''Katniss, don't you see! This will decide things. One way or the other. By the end of the day, they'll either be dead or with us. It's… it's more than we could hope for!''

I don't like that either. I feel stupid, until now the idea of failure hadn't crossed my mind. The idea that I might be getting Nike back blocked every other thought. I didn't realize that maybe these guys could die and that maybe Nike could stay trapped there. Now I'm worried too. I count to ten in my head, hoping to calm down; I don't really need to break down right now.

Haymitch comes into the room then, followed by Blight. He has a job for us, we still need post-bombing footage of Thirteen ''If we can get it in the next few hours, Beetee can air it leading up to the rescue and maybe keep the Capitol's attention elsewhere''

''Yes, a distraction'' says Finnick ''A decoy of sorts''

''What we really need is something so riveting that even President Snow won't be able to tear himself away. Got anything like that?'' asks Haymitch.

As we go back aboveground I fall back to talk to Blight and Finnick. ''What should we say?'' I ask.

''I know what I'll say'' says Finnick ''You've no idea how many things you find out while… well, you know, doing what I do'' he tightens his fingers around the little string he carries ''Maybe you could talk about what they did to you, trying to make you a whore and your family…''

He doesn't need to say more, I know what he's talking about. The Capitol took my innocence, my pride and my family all in one go, if I wanted to talk about it I could cover hours of tape ''I don't know, maybe'' I say, but the thing is I don't want to talk about me. It doesn't feel right.

The crew is ready once we get there. They want to start with me, I'm not sure why. Probably because of the three of us I'm the most calm. I don't know what to talk about. What do the people of the Capitol and Panem want to hear from me? Suddenly I get it. Ever since Nike won, people has always asked him about us, and once I won they asked me too. We've told them almost anything, they don't know how we met, or what we've been through, but Nike has always shown how much he cared about me. I haven't.

''Ask me about Nike'' I tell Cressida. She seems a little surprised. I can understand, I don't think I've ever been so open to talk about Nike and me before.

I sit down and stare at the camera until the red dot comes on. ''Tell us about you and Nike'' she says.

I sigh, trying to find the best words to describe everything. ''When I met Nike, I was going through the worst time of my life.'' That's about right ''My dad had just died. It might not seem like a big deal, but it was to me. My dad was the first person I ever looked up to, he taught me everything, he was… he was my hero'' I smile unconsciously ''And then, all of the sudden, he was gone. I was sad, I was scared, but most of all, I was alone. I didn't know how horrible it was to be alone, to not having anyone to trust, or to care about. When my father passed, I knew exactly what it felt like'' The smile has completely faded by now ''Then I was on the woods one day and Nike showed up. He could have just left when he saw the pathetic eight year old, crying over her dad on the woods, but he stayed. He stayed for God knows how long and he just listened. That was the first time I didn't feel alone since my dad had passed. I don't think he knows just how much that small action meant to me, even know''

''And that's just how it all began. We started to see each other all the time. He opened up about himself quickly and soon I knew everything about him. It took me a long time to do the same, but he got me to tell him everything about myself too-the first and only person who I've told everything to. It is crazy how easy it was for him to become my best friend.'' I'm smiling again ''Still, I never realized how much he meant to me until his name was called on reaping day. I could not bear the thought of saying good bye to him and I could not bear the idea of being alone again and not having someone to talk to and to lean on. He promised me he would do anything to come back, and I believed him, because he _never _broke his promises, and that helped me through. Because of that I didn't feel alone when he was gone.''

People are staring at me, but I don't focus on them and continue my story ''Our lives just became a mess from there. The Capitol killed his family and friends for what he did at the end of his games, for trying to save a life. Then they tried to kill me by placing me in the games. They did not expect me to win, but even so they found a way to ruin everything. They tried to force me to become a prostitute, but I refused and then they killed my family too. I had only Nike left and he only had me. I don't think I need to tell what happened in the quell. That's it, Nike became everything to me. He taught me things, he picked me up when I was down, he made me laugh, he protected me like a brother and not once he left me alone, he was always there for me.''

''He is my hero'' I say and I'm shocked to see that Katniss' prep team is actually crying. ''He might be dead right now'' My voice breaks in the last sentence, but I'm able to hold it together. I take a moment of silence and then I continue.

''Regardless if he's dead or alive, I refuse to stop fighting. We are so close to ending this. We've suffered enough. The Capitol will burn because of what they've done to us, and that's a promise. A promise I intend to keep.''

And that's it. It isn't fancy. It isn't extraordinary. It isn't a rebellion-starting speech, but it's all I have. It's the truth and I think, it's enough. I feel a hand on my shoulder. I turn around and I see Katniss staring at me, with a worried look. ''Are you okay?''

I must look like shit if she's asking me that. I smile at her ''Katniss, I can't remember the last time I was okay''

**Getting that last part was extremely hard. I don't know why… Now to what I wanted to tell you guys. First, I know summer just started for most of you and that you're out of school now, but just so you know, I still have about a month left till school ends for me. Don't try to make me feel bad about still having school, because honestly I don't want it to end. Plenty of really close friends of mine are leaving the country at the end of the year and I'm not looking forward to it. **

**The other thing is, remember that important exam I had a few months ago? Well, I finally got the results back and sadly, I did not get the score I wanted. I didn't do bad, I got an average of 14 points from 20, but it wasn't enough to get me the degree in German that I was trying to get. It depressed me a lot to find out about that, but I decided to look at this as something I can use to grow. It is the first time in my life that I'm not able to achieve something after working really hard on it, so I'm taking this as God trying to give me a lesson. Not everything in life will come just by working hard, some things you manage, some things you don't and it's good for me to know that now. That's why, from now on, I'm not going to take things for granted and I'm going to work on everything a lot harder than before. I am going to face rejection and move on from it until I can make things happen for myself. It is incredible that just not getting a degree in German has made me rethink my life like this, but it is a good thing and I feel more ready to face what's to come to achieve my goals :D.**

**I'm really sorry for the extra long AN, but I needed to get that out of my system and maybe inspire you guys to work as hard as I am going to, to fulfill my dreams. Anyway, I'm sorry for going all philosophical with you guys. I hope you liked this chapter and please review and tell me what you think :).**


	10. Turn it off

**You must hate me. This posting one week and then the other one not is awful, I hate doing it, but I've been pretty busy. I'll really, really try not to do it anymore. But I can make it up to you! How? Well simple! I'm in love with this chapter! I think you're going to love it and it is about 500 words longer than usual :). I hope you like it!**

**Turn it off:**

**Nike's POV**

I don't know how late it is. Annie has been sleeping for a long time. She shifts and mumbles every once in a while, but I don't pay attention unless I think she's having a nightmare, sometimes not even then. Our lives are just a huge nightmare anyway, what's the point? I sigh, tightening my fists. There _IS_ a point and I know it, but having faith seems so hard… Lately it's been getting harder to believe in anything than just to get lost in all my selfish thoughts. Still, you have to believe in something. I think that's the first thing I need to figure out. What do I believe in? God? Yes. I do believe in God. There must be someone, something out there to guide us, to provide us with an answer and I believe that something is God. It's been so long since I've thought about God, years even, but I've always believed in Him.

I climb out of the bed and I kneel down, resting my hands on the bed in front of me. I don't really remember how to pray anymore, but I guess I just need to think someone is hearing. So I start speaking, whispering actually, quickly and without making much sense.

''God…'' I begin, feeling slightly stupid ''I can't… I mean, this is… How much longer will this last? I've seen… I've… I've felt… I've been through so much shit lately… I can't stand it anymore. I don't know if maybe I'm weak, or just not strong enough'' I close my eyes and tighten my muscles a lot while I speak, trying to keep it together, it's hard ''You've always given me what I needed. To survive, I mean. I'm thankful, because… Because You've given me chances and opportunities, more than I deserved. But please, can't this end once and for all? So much death, so much pain… Please, can you just give me a sign… Tell me, somehow, when will this all end? Or… Or at least… Can You give me the strength and the ability to just… To just turn it off? Turn off the pain, the guilt, the sorrow? I just'' I close my eyes again and breathe in several times ''I just want to turn it off''

As soon as the last sentence leaves my lips, the light in the corner twitches, as if it were a scene in a bad movie. After wards I hear a loud banging right outside. Annie sits right up looking startled. ''What's going on?'' She asks.

''I don't know'' I reply, my voice sounding strangely strong ''I'll try to find out''

I stand up and press my ear to the door. I can barely make out voices, but I'm unable to understand any word. It sounds like a small group of people. The banging happens again this time in our door and I jump backwards, startled by the sound. Another banging noise and then I see a flash of light and a loud noise. I cover my face to shield myself from the light and when I look back up there's a lot of smoke. It takes me a second to see the tall guy coming through the now broken door. I do the first thing that comes to mind. I push him against the wall and press him against it using my arm to press against his neck. He's taken by surprise and drops his gun. The guy seems highly familiar. He seems to be about 20, with dark brown hair and his eyes are a serious grey.

''Who are you and what are you doing here?!'' I ask him.

Before he can reply another one presses the tip of a gun to my back. ''Let him go. Now.'' He demands. I don't really have much choice, so I let him go.

''Are you Nike Midas?'' asks the guy pointing the gun at me.

''Yes''

''It's that Annie Cresta?'' he asks.

''You can ask her, you know'' I say defiantly ''But, yes she is''

The guy lowers the gun and smiles ''Great. My name's Boggs. I come from District Thirteen, we're taking you out of here. C'mon''

I'm literally stuck there, with my mouth hanging open, not believing what had just happened. Other guys are already helping Annie walk and taking her out of the room. Is this even possible? I walk out with them and I see two other guys holding an unconscious, very beaten up Peeta. There are eight guys total, two helping Annie, two carrying Peeta, the guy I pinned to the wall, Boggs and two others keeping the look out with guns.

''We have everybody'' One of them says ''Let's get out of here''

''Where's Cinna?'' I ask.

''Cinna? He's still alive?'' asks Boggs.

''Yes. Or at least I think he is, he was just a couple days ago'' I answer.

''Well, I'm sorry, but I can't risk looking for someone who may or may not be alive'' Boggs says ''Let's get out of here''

''I'm not leaving this place without Cinna'' I say.

''Ugh, let's just leave him!'' another guy says ''We already have Peeta, the girl will be happy, this guy doesn't matter''

I glare at the guy who said that. I must've looked scary, because he immediately turned away. ''I hate to say this, but we can't risk it. Either you come now, or you stay here.'' Boggs says.

I'm about to say that I'll stay here then, when the guy I pinned to the wall speaks up ''I'll go with him''

I look at him gratefully. ''You sure about that?'' Boggs says.

''Yes. C'mon, we're wasting time!'' he says ''Give Nike a gun and give us ten minutes, we'll minute you in the hovercraft''

''Fine'' Boggs says. Then he hands me his gun ''Do you know how to use this?''

''Yes, thank you''

''If you come a minute late, I'll have to leave without you, understood?'' we both nod ''Good luck. Let's go!'' he tells the others and they run down the hall.

''C'mon, this place will be swarming with Peacekeepers, do you know where it is?'' the guy –which I'm going to start calling Gabe, asks.

I did have an idea, I've seen where they had taken him after they cut out his tongue, but I had no way of knowing whether he was still there, or where exactly he was. ''yes'' I answer ''Follow me''

I run down the opposite side of the hallway with Gabe behind me, checking for Peacekeepers. We reach the end of the hallway to find a big room that connects to several other rooms. A single peacekeeper is keeping guard of the room and he hasn't seen us yet. Gabe points at the peacekeeper with his gun, but I move it down and press my index finger to my lips, signing for him to be quiet. I sneak a little closer to the peacekeeper. Dangerously close even, one bad step and he'll shoot me. I count to three and then I tackle him to the ground. Once he's on the ground I take away his gun and throw it away and punch him on the face twice.

''Where's Cinna?!'' I tell him.

''I-I don't know'' the peacekeeper stutters.

''Either you tell me right know or I'll hurt you so bad you're gonna wish you were dead!'' I hiss at him.

He's quiet for a second, but then he sees me raising my hand ..''Okay! Okay! Through that door there's a hallway, the designer guy is at the last door to the right! Please don't hurt me!''

''Thank you'' I say and then I knock him out with the pressure points on his neck.

''That was awesome'' Gabe says.

I don't reply, having trouble speaking again. I breathe deeply one more time and close my eyes, seeing the red again, but trying to ignore it. ''Yeah, yeah… I know where Cinna is, we must have only about five minutes left''

We run down the hallway the peacekeeper pointed at. We run across a couple peacekeepers, but Gabe shoots them before I can even see them. The guy is good. We finally reach the last door to the right and I see a panel of buttons exactly like the one in my cell. I only know the password of my cell, but it might be the same… I might as well try. 486437. Of course it is... The numbers spell Hunger. I should've figured that out before. The door slides open and inside there is Cinna, tied to a chair, bloody and bruised and there's no one other than Pelagius in front of him, probably another interrogation.

''You motherfucker...'' I say cruelly and then I punch Pelagius right across his surprised face. He falls on the ground and I kick his cane away and kick him over and over again in the stomach. I walk towards Cinna then I untie his bindings. ''You okay?'' I ask him and he nods, looking weaker than ever. ''C'mon, go with him. We're getting out of here''

Gabe takes Cinna and helps him walk. I pick up Pelagius' cane while he's still on the ground and I stare at him for a moment. ''Please don't kill me!'' he says ''I-I was just doing my job! I didn't want to... I mean... Don't kill me, please!''

''I'm not going to kill you'' I say.

''Thank you, thank you so much'' he says relieved.

''But you're not walking out of here either'' I say and then I shoot both of his knees. I hit right on the spot and Pelagius screams. I ignore him and lean on the cane, suddenly having trouble walking.

''Are you okay, man?'' Gabe asks me.

''yes, I'm fine. Just weak. Let's get out of here'' I say.

We run back through the same hallways. Peacekeepers are coming quickly through the halls, but Gabe kills all of them. I shoot a couple of them, but I always point at the shoulders or the legs, so I don't kill them, but it is harder. We make it to a long staircase I hadn't been in before. We climb it rapidly. Gabe opens a trapdoor to the roof and helps Cinna and me climb through it. The hovercraft is already in the air, probably just about to take off. Gabe reaches to his ear and touches an earphone. ''Boggs! We're here, we have Cinna, drop the ladder!''

An old ladder falls down the hovercraft. I help Cinna up first and then I climb a couple steps to give Gabe some space. Right before Gabe climbs the ladder the trapdoor opens once more and several Peacekeepers walk through it. Gabe begins to shoot them. The people on the hovercraft must've noticed, because they begin to fly away, but slowly, maybe giving Gabe a chance. I climb a couple of steps back.

''Hey! Take my hand! C'mon!'' I yell at Gabe. Gabe runs towards me, turning around while shooting every once in a while and then he jumps and I manage to catch him with my left hand. I almost fall off as Gabe's weight pulls me down and my arm, which was the same one in which I got shot, hurts like if there were a million needles going through it. They electrify the ladder right then and I feel how I'm frozen in place, holding Gabe with one hand, and myself with the other. They pull us up.

Once we're on board Annie gives me a gigantic hug that I quickly respond. They proceed to give me a quick medical test, patching up wounds, fixing a dislocated shoulder I didn't know I had and giving me painkillers that are gladly appreciated. Once they're done I go and sit with Gabe, to thank him.

''Hey'' I say when I sit down, blinking a lot and constantly rubbing my hands against my leg ''Thank you. I would probably still be there, or I'd be dead if it were0nt for you, so thanks''

''You're welcome. But it was because of Johanna. She asked me to bring you back'' he says.

''Thanks. It means a lot, and I doubt I'll ever be able to repay you''

''But… You noticed too, right?'' he asks. I know what he means.

''Yes, it was way too easy'' I say ''I don't know why, maybe the Capitol didn't need us anymore, or maybe they thought things wouldn't change if we were in Thirteen''

''Or maybe they found a way to screw us up by rescuing you''

''Perhaps, but let's just be happy with what we achieved now, we'll worry about the outcome once we arrive'' I say ''And I don't really know who you are…''

''Gale'' Hey, Gabe, Gale, I almost got it ''Gale Hawthorne''

I'm surprised by that last name ''Hawthorne?'' And then I remember where I heard it before_''But I have this friend, his name is Gale Hawthorne, he lives in the Seam and his dad is a miner. He's doing ok, but sometimes they have to spend days without eating''_

''You live in the Seam. And you're dad was a miner.'' I say and he looks startled by me knowing ''You knew Kyle''

His face visibly darkens ''Yes. He was my best friend and he died in the games. I didn't think you'll remember that''

''How could I not?'' I say and my eyes are filled with red. So are his. So much pain. I breathe deeply again and I open and close my fists a lot, trying to calm down ''He was my friend too. I think of him every single day''

''So do I'' Gale says ''So, I guess victors aren't all that bad, at least they remember their allies.''

''Not just their allies'' I say, as the red gets worse and my movements more erratic ''Everything. We remember absolutely everything. I remember every name. Every tribute. Every single thing…''

''Are you okay?'' he asks me.

I shake my head ''No. I'm not okay. But I will be'' I answer.

He pats me on the shoulder ''I sure hope so'' he says giving me a warm smile ''You're a lot different than what I thought Johanna would like''

I laugh ''I love Johanna. She probably thinks I'm a brainless wimp, but she loves me too. That's just how it works'' I say smiling for real for the first time in a long while.

''That sounds nice'' he says ''If you want, there's a bathroom over there for you to wash up. You look horrible''

''Thank you, Gale'' I say.

And as I walk to the bathroom I also thank God. ''Thank You, God. For listening and for helping, for always being there for me when I needed you the most. The pain, the sorrow and the guilt… They're still on. But don't worry. I will find a way to turn it off''

**You see? Freaking fantastic. I love how it turned out, it is a huge step up from last chapter which, let's face it, it sucked. I noticed I like writing Nike's POV a lot better, so I'll probably just do him from now on, although I don't know just yet. I hope you enjoyed this chapter as much as I did and please review :D.**

**Okay and something else, if anyone figures out where I got the idea for the chapter's name ''Turn it off'' **_**without **_**looking it up on the internet, I will give that person a sneak peek fro next chapter :). **


	11. Reunion

**Hellooooo! I'm sorry for the delay, blah, blah, blah. My apologies don't seem sincere anymore… Anyway, I hope you like this chapter :D. Also, my awesome friend who I met on this site, FireBreadandSnares, turned 13 exactly two weeks ago on June 23****rd****. So I would like to start this chapter by wishing her the best late happy birthday ever :). This chapter is totally for you, Maddie, I hope you like it :).**

**Reunion:**

**Nike's POV**

''Man, I do look horrible'' I mumble as I see my reflection in the mirror for the first time since we left the Capitol. Gale's description of me was fairly accurate, I look horrible. To begin with, I'm extremely pale, sickly even, and the fact that I dropped a lot of weight doesn't help with making me look any healthier. My hair is a lot longer now, kind of like it was when I was fourteen, it looks ridiculously spiky, ridiculously uneven and ridiculously messed up. It makes me look a lot younger, like a seventeen year old teenager. I also have a pretty decent beard for someone who has never been able to grow a beard. There's a shaver on a very small cupboard above the mirror, there's also a toothbrush, toothpaste, a comb, a couple white shirts and military pants, soap and, for some reason, tampons. Everything comes in handy aside from the latter.

I shave, although not my hair, I decide to leave it long for some reason, then I shower and brush my teeth. I never thought brushing my teeth could be so pleasant, but after so long it was fantastic. I try to brush my hair. I don't succeed. I actually smile after that, I had forgotten how frustrating my hair could be. I look at myself in the mirror once I'm done. I'm not going to say I look good, but the image certainly became a lot better. At least I didn't look like a hobo anymore.

I'm going to put the shirt on when I notice, on my left arm, the bandage covering the place where I was shot in my shoulder. I tighten my fists, I saw _it_. I open and close my fists over and over until finally I decide to move the bandage. I see the shot. Literally it's just a small, red, bloody circle. I touch it and it hurts, so I immediately move my hand away. I begin to breathe heavily and I set my hands on the sink. My muscles are tight and I keep my eyes shut the entire time. I finally open them and I see myself in the mirror again, except there's something different this time. This time, my eyes are fully red.

The next thing I remember is that the mirror is broken and right in the middle point there's a small trail of blood, tracing down. I'm shaking. When I look at my right hand I see that my knuckles are very bruised and bleeding. I look at myself in the mirror again and I see myself several times, in each broken piece of it. My eyes aren't red; they're bright green like they've been my entire life. I breathe heavily one last time, put the shirt on, which is slightly small for me, and I walk out of the bathroom.

They ask me about the mirror. I say it just broke. They don't believe me, but they don't ask either. The ride to Thirteen is hours long. I don't do much; I still have the image of my eyes in mind. So red, so filled with pain and fear. I know this is not normal. I know I shouldn't be this nervous and tense all the time, but I can't help it. Cinna tries to make me feel better, maybe because he notices how much of a mess I am. I appreciate the thought, but having him come up to me, opening his mouth, then realizing he can't speak and closing it again is depressing. Gale asks me if I'm okay again. I reply the same thing I did before, I'm not okay, but I'll find a way to be. I have to, I can't arrive to Thirteen, where Johanna is waiting for me, being a mess. I need to figure out what I need and how to stop the red that hunts me. If only it were that easy.

We finally arrive, in the morning the next day. Peeta is still asleep, but they'll wake him up once we're in Thirteen. I'm completely nervous, I keep moving my hands and rubbing them against my pants.

''Are you nervous?'' asks Gale.

''Yes'' I reply, closing my eyes and opening them again ''No. I don't know. Should I be? Why should I be? I know Johanna. I've known her my whole life. Yes, definitely yes''

Gale laughs ''You don't seem like the kind of guy that's comfortable around chicks''

I laugh as well ''I'm not'' I say rubbing my hands against my legs ''But you'd think that after thirteen years knowing the girl I'd get used to it…''

''Did you sleep at all?'' He asks '' I hadn't noticed how tired you look''

''No, I can't sleep'' I reply. And it's true. I don't remember the last time I slept, it was more like passing out because of the pain from torture. Actually sleeping seems like a mad idea, it doesn't seem natural. At least not to me. ''Too much in my head, I guess…''

He's about to say something, but the hovercraft shakes slightly violently as we arrive and enter Thirteen's facilities. We all form an unorganized line to leave the hovercraft, with the people who need help first, such as Peeta or Cinna. They offer me help as well, but I think I need a therapist more than a paramedic. We enter a big white room filled with doctors who start to help the people who got hurt in the mission and helping Annie, Cinna and Peeta.

They take Gale aside and begin removing what looks like a bullet from the side of his waist. How could I not notice he had been shot? They take me aside as well, and begin to work on y multiple bruises, cuts, internal wounds, broken limbs, my dislocated shoulder and the shot on my shoulder.

They are removing the bullet off of my shoulder, which it happened to _still _be there-no wonder why it hadn't healed- when I see her. She's just standing there. Johanna. I hardly notice Finnick and Annie hugging almost right beside me, or the fuzz the doctors are making, or the loud noises, or the pain of having metallic tweezers in my shoulder. All I notice is her, with her hair up in a messy ponytail, wearing dull gray clothes, looking like she hadn't slept in days and searching the room with her eyes.

I just stare at her, until finally her eyes meet mine. I begin to breathe more rapidly as a smile finds its way to my face. I push the doctor away, stand up and walk to her. I walk faster and faster until I'm running. It feels like miles, even though I know she's right there. I get to her finally and she wraps her arms around my neck and kisses me, like she did on that arena what feels like a million years ago. I can't even begin to describe how it feels to kiss her. The feeling is overwhelming. For the first time in months I feel truly happy, I feel like there might be a happy ending to this story, or that there's still something to fight and to live for.

She breaks the kiss and says looking into my eyes ''You ever leave me again and I swear I will kill you''

''Don't worry, I won't'' I reply with a smirk. I kiss her again and press her even closer against me, just because it feels that I can't be close enough to her. And at that moment, red doesn't exist. There's no pain, no fear, no guilt and nothing wrong. There's just me and her, and it's amazing.

**Johanna's POV**

I haven't seen Nike since he arrived and that was days ago. I didn't even had a chance to actually talk to him, the doctors took him away to take care of his wounds before I could. I try to visit him in the hospital wing every day, but they don't let me. They say he's in a ''critical mental state''. He didn't seem to be in a critical mental state when he had his tongue on my mouth. All I've heard about him comes from Annie. Apparently they were in the same cell together, but she didn't know much about how they were torturing him, it seems like he kept those things to himself, typical of him to try and protect Annie from his suffering. Yet Annie knew that he was actually having a lot of breakdowns.

''He seemed unaffected by the torture, he was acting so normal, just weak'' She told me and Finnick- who would not leave her alone at all- one day ''Then all of the sudden he broke down''

''Why? What happened that day?'' I ask.

''I don't know, he wouldn't tell me'' she says looking a little nervous ''But after one day he came back and he was shaking and muttering about the color red. He never got back to normal after that. He would talk to himself a lot, but he wouldn't talk to me unless it was completely necessary, like when he told me he found out Finnick wasn't in the Capitol. He would be nervous all the time and sometimes he would sit down on the floor with his head in his hands and cry. I didn't know what to do, I was so scared…'' She begins shaking and Finnick hugs her, which calms her down a bit.

''What else?'' I ask, desperate to know Nike didn't have it so bad and that I could see him soon.

''Well, his eyes were always… wild after that. He seemed really alert to everything and I remember that he knocked out a couple peacekeepers who wanted to take me with them. He was really protective of me.''

That was a relief for me. If Nike was still taking care of Annie then the normal Nike was still there. That's something you can always count Nike for, he'll always try to help, no matter how bad things are for him. Damn, I miss him. I've also been spending a scary amount of time with Katniss. What happened to Peeta probably hit her hard. I don't know what I would do if something like that ever happened to Nike. I try to help Katniss by doing inappropriate jokes. They don't really work, but I think she appreciates me trying. Katniss also tries to get me to talk to Nike, but they don't allow her either, so we're pretty much stuck.

I try to see him one Nike, a couple days before Annie's and Finnick's wedding, hoping that I could at least ask him if he was going to be in the wedding. They don't let me in, but I see my therapist walking out of his room. I catch up to her. I talk to her about seeing Nike and she tells me she can't allow me to enter. I feel like knocking her out, but I resist the urge.

I'm about to leave, but she stops me. ''Look, I can't let you see him'' she says, ''But here, take this'' She says handing me an old looking notebook ''I shouldn't give you this, but I've been telling Nike to write down what he feels every time he gets a breakdown, he fills these notebooks surprisingly fast, that is the last one he wrote. I hope that helps''

Later when I'm back in my room, almost at midnight I take the notebook and flip the pages. It feels like I'm about to read Nike's journal, but I'm desperate to feel like he's here. So I open the first page. Nike's handwriting is huge, sloppy and there are lots of words that make no sense. The only thing I can read with certainty is the word ''RED'' in capital letters.

I keep passing pages until finally in around the middle of the book his handwriting changes drastically, becoming like I knew it before, small and organized. I read.

''_I don't know what's going through my head. I try to stop picturing the red, but I can't. It is always there. The only time it left was when I as with Johanna. Why don't they let me see her? It's cruel. She's the only thing keeping me from going insane, can't they tell that seeing her will help me? It doesn't matter to them it seems, I just hope they let me go to Finnick's and Annie's wedding. Maybe that could take my mind off of things. My doctor would probably say that's not true. I was diagnosed with ADHD, I didn't have it before so the attention problems and hyperactivity must've come after I saw Cinna's tongue been cut off.''_

So that's what he saw. That must've probably been what Annie was talking about, what changed him.

''_The doctor says that's why I can't stop thinking about the red. But I don't just think it. I see it. It's there. I know it. I can't describe it. It's just red. I can't say what it means. No one should know what red is. It is too awful. I wish I didn't know what it was. I don't know if the red will go away. I don't know if I'll ever come back to normal. I don't know if I'll ever feel the same. I don't know if I'll ever be sane again. I just want this to end. If I have to I'm going to fight, I don't care if they tell me I'm not mentally stable to do so, I am part of this war and I intend to end it. Hopefully it'll end soon. I'm so tired… I want to go home. I want to see Johanna. I want to laugh and drink with Finnick. I want to tease Annie and Katniss and just be normal for a while. It's so depressing to know that at one point I was actually happy. Will I ever be happy again? I don't know, although I was happy when I arrived, when I kissed Johanna. All I know is that I'm not happy in this hospital room. It's almost as bad as been in a cell in the Capitol. I want to go home.''_

I shut the notebook. It feels wrong to read it, Nike should be telling me this, Nike should be opening up to me and not to a book. I miss him. At least I know that his heart is still in the right place, he's still willing to fight for Panem and so am I.

**Okay, highly lame ending, but I couldn't come up with something better. I really hope you liked this chapter. I really liked it :), it's not as good as the last one, but it came out pretty good. If you liked it leave a review and tell me what you think I did good, what you think I did bad and what I can do better next time :D.**


	12. The Wedding

**I know, I'm the most horrible human being on the planet. I'm so, so, so, so sorry! You guys have no idea how bad I feel about not posting ANYTHING in almost 3 months. I don't have much of an excuse, still I hope you guys are glad I'm back, I hope you aren't mad and most of all, I hope you all had a wonderful summer :). Just in case you guys want to know, I was in California for a month with EF (education first) which is a program to improve another language in another country. I hope my English improved after having three hours of English everyday for a month. I legit had the best time of my life and I loved California, I was in Santa Barbara, but I spent a weekend in LA and it was fantastic. I also got to see Ariana Grande, Janette McCurdy and Naya Rivera in person, which was awesome. Anyway, enough of me. I wasn't really sure about this chapter, but now that it's written I think I really, really like it. It's the longest chapter I've ever written (almost 3000 words) and it is definitely the sappiest, cheesiest, most romantic chapter any of you has ever seen in any book or fanfic ever. I know I used ever twice, but seriously… I hope you enjoy it and please let me know if I took the cheesy to far ;).**

**The Wedding:**

**Nike's POV**

Allow me to fill you in on what has been happening. I do almost nothing all day, which drives me crazy, and when I finally get to do something is talking with a psychiatrist. That's pretty much it. I'm not only bored out of my mind, but I'm worried too. They haven't told me anything about what's been going on out there and it's been about a week since I got back. I know they're doing missions, I know they have plans, I know they're trying to make each district join the rebellion, what I don't know is why I can't know what's coming next. Or why I can't see Johanna, Finnick, Annie, Blight or anyone that I care about.

I sigh exasperated ''I don't know why I'm suddenly ADHD and I don't know why I get this random, painful, red flashbacks'' I wince when I say the word 'red' ''I don't intend to be rude, but isn't _your_ job to find that out and not mine?''

My psychiatrist looks at me over her glasses while writing something on her little notebook. ''Look, I'm sorry but I really don't know what's going on in my head'' I continue ''But I'm not-I'm not dangerous. I wouldn't hurt any of the people here, I can control myself. Just please, let me get out of here and talk to the people'' I rub my leg frantically with my right hand, as my left lays on the armrest, which I'm using to tap my finger. ''Or at least tell me what's been going on out there''

''Well, you've certainly gotten better.'' She says ''You're hyperactivity seems to be the same, but that doesn't really hurt anyone and as far as I'm concerned it's been days since your last flashback. Besides someone requested to see you''

I swallow, thinking that maybe is Johanna. I don't know why I'm nervous to see her lately. I guess I just don't want to screw things up. ''Who is it?'' I ask.

''You'll see'' she says, closing her notebook. ''And just so you know, this might be the last time we see each other in these circumstances.''

I'm surprised by that, I thought I was far from done with my mental issues. She leaves and a couple of minutes later my 'visitor' walks in. It isn't Johanna, it's Blight. My face breaks into a smile; I stand up and hug him tightly.

He laughs ''It's good to see you too, kid'' he says patting my back.

''I know it must've been tough, kid'' he says placing a hand on my shoulder ''But you're totally safe now''

I laugh because I know that's not true. None of us are safe, not while the Capitol is still standing. I don't say that though. ''How's Johanna?'' I ask.

''Right, straight to the hot girl, not even a 'how you doing Blight?''' he says jokingly, but I just stare at him waiting for an answer ''She's fine. She just came back from mission actually''

He tells me all of it. How they the mission consisted of making District 2 join the rebellion, he tells me Gale's twisted plan to destroy the main headquarters of District 2, which killed many, many people, but was successful nonetheless. And how at the end Katniss was shot by an angry survivor.

''Is she okay?'' I ask worried.

''Yeah, she's fine, has been resting'' he says.

''Good'' I say ''Do you know will they let me get out of here?''

''Soon, in a day or two'' he says ''I mean, they have to let you go to the wedding''

''Wedding?'' I ask tilting my head curiously ''Who's getting married?''

''They didn't tell you?'' he asks surprised ''Finnick and Annie! They really didn't tell you a thing, did they?''

''Finnick and Annie are getting married? That's great!'' I say smiling.

As it turns out they _were _going to tell me about the wedding. So a couple days later I'm out of my crappy jail cell- hospital room, same thing- and given a single room which is just or maybe more depressing than the hospital room. At least I won't have to stand doctors constantly asking the same questions and looking at me with pity in their eyes. That same night, just mere hours after being translated to my new room is Finnick and Annie's wedding ceremony. I didn't need to dress up or anything of the sorts, and I was glad, because I didn't have the means to dress up either way.

I'm one of the last ones in the place where the ceremony will take place, which is surprising considering I arrived fairly early. I try to find Johanna, but it's impossible due to the amount of people in the room, I'd say more than three hundred people had been invited. The ceremony starts and I resign to just watch the ceremony by myself. It doesn't really bother me to be alone, I've been alone for so long that it almost feels alien to talk to other people. Still, I find the ceremony to be beautiful. Annie looks happier than I've ever seen her, not to mention strikingly beautiful, with a simple green dress obviously made by someone from the Capitol. Seeing her happy is one of the most wonderful things I could ever ask for. She went through hell and back alone, and afterwards with me. In my opinion, she deserves all the happiness in the world. And so does Finnick. He has fought to keep her alive more times than I can remember and it's only fair for him to finally be with her. So yes, I'm happy just watching them be happy. For now, that's pretty much all I need.

The ceremony ends when they kiss and I clap along with all the others. A fiddler begins to play and people begin to dance. I know Finnick and Annie will surely dance as well, but I want to talk to them first, just to personally congratulate them. I find them quickly enough; surrounded by a bunch of people they probably don't even know. Finnick sees me among them, though- the advantages of being tall- and smiles. He breaks through the crowd towards me, holding Annie's hand and gives me a hug so tight that I'm pretty sure he might've broken a couple of my ribs. I hug him back, smiling the whole time.

''I gotta be honest, I thought I would never see you again'' he says once we stop hugging.

''Well, not once I thought I would see you getting married, yet here we are'' I say smiling and he rolls his eyes, then I turn to Annie ''You look gorgeous, Annie'' she smiles gripping Finnick's arm tightly ''You've got no idea how happy I am for you guys, you deserve this''

''Do you mind if I talk to Nike alone for a moment?'' Finnick asks Annie with a tone so tender and soft that for a second I thought somebody else might've been talking.

''No, not at all. Go ahead'' Annie says smiling, she kisses him and leaves to talk to some other guests.

Finnick drags me away from the commotion ''Look man, Annie told me everything that happened back in the Capitol'' he starts. My head aches just by the mention of it, but I just smile and try not to show it. Finnick places a hand on my shoulder ''You're a hero. I mean it. Annie told me how much you helped her and how hard you tried to keep her safe even when you had all that crap going on for yourself. She told me you saved Cinna's life and that not once you complained. I don't think I can ever thank you enough for that''

I smile for real ''You don't need to thank me, you would've done the same for me'' I say ''Besides, I didn't help Annie just for you, she's like a sister to me''

''I hope I'm like your brother then'' he says smiling.

''Eww, you as a brother? That sounds like torture'' I joke and he rolls his eyes again.

''Finnick, come on!'' Annie calls him motioning him to go to the dance floor with her.

''Go, you don't want to make your bride wait, do you?'' I ask him.

''Nope, I certainly don't.'' he says smiling at me Annie ''Great to have you back, bro''

As soon as he leaves somebody taps me on the shoulder. I turn around to find that one girl who has been on my mind every single second of every single day. Johanna. I almost forgot how perfectly beautiful she is. No matter how hard I try I still can't find the words to describe her. Words just don't cut it. She's like a perfect, badass princess taken from a fairytale. I realize too late that I'm staring and try to say something mildly coherent, yet failing.

''Well, are you going to stand there, gaping like an idiot, or are you going to hug me?'' she says smiling smugly. It takes me less than a second to oblige. I hug her, remembering all the times I had hug her before, remembering all the memories we have together and trying my best to memorize how it feels to have her so close to me, even though I know that no matter how much I memorize it, the memory won't ever be half as good as how it actually feels to hold her in my arms.

''You've got no idea how much I've wanted to see you all these days'' I say, my voice muffled slightly by her hair. She doesn't reply, she just holds me a little bit tighter, gripping my shirt slightly, as if afraid I might run away or disappear at any moment.

I don't know how long we hug, but I know it's a very long time. We don't say anything, even though I'm dying to talk to her, to tell her everything that's been going on in my head, because I know she might be the only person who'll understand. When we finally break apart we sit together in a nearby table as the happy music fills the place and people dance on the dance floor excitedly. Our conversation isn't as happy as the environment around us. She asks me, straight forward, what happened to me there. She's the first person I don't hesitate to tell. I tell her every single thing. I don't leave any detail out. Sometimes I have to stop myself, sometimes I have to close my eyes to focus on what's around me and remind myself I'm not there anymore, sometimes I start tapping my foot or rubbing my leg over and over again, but she makes it easier. She has always known me almost better than I've known myself and she held my hand all the way through, squeezing it every time she thought I needed it. Once I'm done it dawns on me how painful that was and I just stare at our intertwined hands, because that simple and beautiful and real and that helps.

''Thank you for telling me'' she says and I look up to see her smiling slightly, with no pity or sadness, just happy to know I'm back and that at least that horrible path of my journey is over ''I know it must've been hard''

''Thank you for listening'' I say smiling back at her ''I know it was probably boring and… awful''

''I kinda owed you, after all you listened to me when I was just a sad eight year old girl who missed her dad''

''That was the best decision I've ever made'' I say and I talk her cheek with my free hand lightly. I drop my hand a moment after, when I lose the confidence that brought me to raise it in the first place. Silence follows that. She's stroking my hand with her thumb, which feels nice, and I suddenly realize how much time must have passed. Almost everybody is gone, only about thirty people are still here, including Finnick and Annie and Johanna and I. The music they're playing is not upbeat and happy anymore, now it's slow and tender, almost a lullaby.

I stand up and offer my hand to Johanna ''Do you want to dance?'' I ask her with what might be the shyest smile ever ''And don't say no, or I'll look stupid standing here''

''You always look stupid'' she says looking confused and I stick out my tongue at her. She takes my hand and I lead her to the dance floor. I'm not, nor will I ever be a good dancer, so I move slowly as to not step on her feet. Both of my hands are on her waist and hers are around my neck. ''since when do you dance?'' she asks grinning to fill up the silence between us.

I shrug ''Any excuse to be close to you is worth it'' I say. She smiles, but her smile suddenly disappears and she looks down ''Is everything alright?'' I ask worried.

''I… Is something so stupid…'' she says hesitating in between words ''But… There's something I never told you about and I don't know why it's wondering me now…'' she opens and closes her mouth as if she weren't sure how or what she wants to say.

''C'mon, Jo'' I say smiling ''It's me, you can tell me everything, no matter how stupid it is''

She hesitates for a while ''You see… Remember what the Capitol told me to do after my games?'' I nod, they wanted her to become a prostitute ''I told you that I said no, but… I- I… I was scared, for my family and… And you… And I did do it. Only a couple of times. Afterwards I couldn't take it. That's why it took so long for them to… to kill…'' she stops talking and stares at me.

I'm just staring at her, gaping at her. I had no idea. I don't really know what to think or what to say. ''So, you're like… You're not…''

''A virgin? No, I'm not a virgin anymore'' she says. ''Are you?''

''Yeah…'' I say awkwardly ''Yes, I still am''

Neither of us say anything for a second. She's the one to speak up ''Nike… You're holding me a little too tight…''

I notice that I had been clenching my hands on her waist, probably hurting her a bit ''I'm sorry. I'm sorry. It's just… You shouldn't… I mean they shouldn't have…'' I stammer with my words ''I should have been you first'' I suddenly let out, my cheeks a bright crimson color.

She's blushing too. Probably not as red as me, but still. I don't look at her afterwards, I'm embarrassed. Maybe I shouldn't have said that, even if that's really what's bothering me. ''I'm sorry'' I say ''Maybe I shouldn't have…''

She cuts me off ''You can't be my first, not anymore…'' she says pulling herself just a little bit closer ''But… I have a feeling you'll be my last''

I don't think and I just pull her closer, closing the gap between us and kissing her like I've never kissed her before. She kisses me back just as passionately.

What happens next is all a blur. I don't know how we end up in my room, I don't know how I ended up kissing her neck as I hold her against the wall, I don't know how she manages to take my shirt off, or how I take her shirt off, or how I end up on top of her on my bed. That's how we end up being together in the most intimate way two people can be with one another. I'm clumsy and slow, but so is she. I try my best to be gentle, to make it feel right for her and she lets me.

It ends after a very long time. I feel exhausted, wearing only my underwear that I picked up from the floor. She's breathing heavily as well and she moves ever so lightly so she can place her head on my shoulder and hug my tightly. I look down on her. Her hair is a mess, she looks tired and her body is covered only by my oversized shirt. She strokes my chest and my stomach with her hands, making me feel a comforting warmth wherever her fingers touch. ''I don't think I have ever been happier'' she whispers, almost to herself.

I smile and see her closing her eyes, probably already falling asleep. I lean forward and kiss her forehead. I let my lips linger there for a moment, just because it feels right. Then I move just to embrace her with my other arm. She's already asleep. Her breaths are slow and calm and you can just make out the hint of a smile playing on the corners of her lips. I move the hair away from her face and place it neatly behind her ear. ''I love you'' I whisper in her ear, right before falling into a content, dreamless sleep.

**Yes, Johanna and Nike did have sex. No, I am not changing this to an M-Rated story. You see, I'm trying to keep this as realistic as possible and it's not like Johanna and Nike don't have a history and they're adults, she's 21 and he's 22, it's more than certain that they were bound to do it sooner rather than later. I wrote it in what might be the most innocent and short way possible and it is not detailed at all, I'm pretty sure that any person over 13 (so a teen) can read this with no problem. Anyway, I really hope you liked this :D. I'm not expecting any reviews considering how long I was away, but hopefully I still might get some; so please review :). Thank you for reading!**


End file.
